Social Suffocation

Disc-LAME-er: There will be cliches, self-quoting, photos and a few words strung together to attempt an explanation as to why my last post was in January. But all that is lame. So…  how about we just enjoy moving forward from here? Work for you? Awesome! 😀

Okay, so let me start by saying that life can get the better of us at times. I’m not immune to its affects. It has certainly gotten the better of me. Well, at least it did back in January when I was laid off from my job of 6+ years. Lots of wonderful things have happened and I honestly meant to chronicle it all. But we all know how that turned out. 😛 I just hate the fact that when I finally come up for air, months have passed. 😦 So this is a public apology… especially to certain people who may have felt slighted by the circumstances of my life. I’ve been absent from most social media, with the exception of photos posted to Instagram that are cross-posted to Twitter and Facebook. (So follow me on those sites to stay up-to-date on my crazy, awesome life!) 😉

That being said… here’s what has been going on for the past 8 months.

January – I was laid off from my job. But instead of seeing it as a setback, my wife and I saw it as an opportunity. I’ve since gone back to school, working to obtain my degree in Human Development.

February – We’ve been working together to homeschool our four younger children.I’ve always loved to teach, and now I can
play and active role in the overall education of my children! We alternate days of teaching the children and being full-time writers. We get to enjoy our children, as well as the beauty of each day.

This month we also celebrated Aaron’s 8th birthday!

March – My oldest son finished his run as the lead in USC’s “Six Degrees of Separation”. He was brilliant in the role and I couldn’t have been more proud.

April – In April we celebrated, not just one, but two birthdays! A kid turning 2

…and another turning 4.

This was also the month that my amazing wife ran one of the most intense marathons! It was the SoCal Ragnar Relay Series! It consisted of 12 amazing women who came together to run all day and all through the night from Huntington Beach to San Diego! That’s like 200 miles! I was so proud of her and her team. We actually collaborated on a little video that chronicles the journey. You can view it here: Ragnar Relay – Lola’s Moving Co. Video.

May – This month, one of the highlights was my only daughter and I having another one of our Daddy/Daughter dates. She is just the most warm-hearted person ever, and I am so thankful that she is mine and I am hers. ❤

June – As I mentioned briefly, we are both pursuing our dreams of becoming published writers! Well, this month we made that dream a reality by publishing my wife’s first (of many to come) book! She started working on it in March, and in about three months time, she finished writing it, and together, we self-published it through Amazon.com. It’s titled, “How To Shop Mostly Organic At The 99¢ Only Store” and it’s fantastic! It gives in-depth pointers on finding Organic, Gluten-Free and Non-GMO foods, so that you can live well and get the most out of your shopping trips to the 99¢ Only Stores. Click on the book to check it out. It’s available as both a hard copy and e-book!

This was also the month that my second oldest son graduated from High School.

He is now in his Freshman year at Fresno State University. Wow… time really flies. I can remember when he was 9 like it was yesterday…

July – This month we enjoyed some good ol’ fashioned family time. You know, just being silly…

…or roughing it in the woods, camping with 20+ family and friends from our church. It’s one of the things we most look forward to during the summer. This was our 5th annual camping trip and each year it only gets better.

August – This month we sent our second oldest off to college, and finally had an opportunity to get away, just the two of us, for our wedding anniversary. The first time we’ve been able to do so in more then five years! We went to Ojai, CA and stayed at the Capri Hotel. It was a dazzling few days (with intense heat to match) that we both loved. 30 mile bike rides. Midnight pool swimming. Sushi for lunch and frozen yogurt runs in the evening. One of the best times I’ve had in like… forever! lol

There’s a ton more I could say, but I’m hoping that this will help to spark my writing and get me back to being more consistent with my blog. Thank you for everyone who’s stuck around. I won’t keep you waiting like that ever again. 😉

Join The Rebellion

Sometimes when I’m uploading pictures or typing out a conversation I’ve had with someone in my family, I wonder if people think I’m being pushy or overdoing it by constantly posting about my wife and kids and how much I love them. I wonder if maybe I should reduce the frequency of my shared observations so as not to put people off.

And then…

I watch the news where it seems a majority (if not all) of the content is focused on domestic and community violence, betrayal and corruption, political posturing to the detriment of citizens, sexual exploitation of celebrities and children, public humiliation of people in relationships gone bad, and Sports.

And then…

I notice TV shows that are supposedly geared toward children but include gratuitous hyper-realized violence, subtle sexual undertones, or is simply a platform for blatant product promotion.

And then…

I look around at the adjunct education we may or may not be aware that our children are receiving at school: how to obtain drugs and alcohol while still underage, how to be (or at least appear) sexually active without your parents finding out, the pros and cons of bullying, and what it means to aspire to popularity at any cost.

And then…

I go to work and witness firsthand the long-term, sometimes irreparable effects of neglect and trauma on men, women and children… emotional repression, developmental delays, self-medication and isolation.

But…

That’s when I realize that in spite of my endless stream of Instagram photos, flirtatious banter with my wife, or anything else I may share with my friends, family and the world… I could never match the sheer volume of negative elements that come together to form a fortified barrier against unified families and healthy relationships.

But…

That’s when I realize that, while I may not be able make any significant dents alone, there CAN be success and strength if others join in and celebrate their passionate marriages, delightfully entertaining children and rewarding occupations. So join the rebellion and help me flood the world with stories of LOVE, VICTORY, and the pursuit of HEALTH.

DOVE NOTE #35: Connections

(from the forthcoming book “Dove Notes”)

In a very real sense, most of us have a tendency to let life’s circumstances keep us from doing the things we Want To Do (WTD), because we’re so busy doing the things we Need To Do (NTD). The most obvious NTD’s include acquiring life necessities like food, clothing and shelter. But NTD’s can also include hefty responsibilities at work, obligations with family, school or church, or even ongoing extra-curricular activities like coaching or playing on a sports team. At times, the NTD’s can become so demanding that we feel prisoner to them. We find ourselves trapped, suffering through an exhausting schedule that will inevitably cause our relationships to suffer.

WTD’s are those things we place on our list of priorities that are primarily add-ons… things that we won’t even number without feeling guilty. These include going out with friends, sleeping in on a workday, or working on a hobby. Unfortunately, some NTD’s can have such a vigorous appetite for time that other NTD’s are demoted to WTD’s. You have to be very mindful of this subtle transition because some NTD’s are vitally important. One of the most critical NTD’s is connecting…

“You should NEVER underestimate the value of connecting with the person you love on a consistent basis.” I will say this over and over again until it registers to the very core of your being, because this is one of the basic principles that successful relationships are based upon.

What is “connecting”?

Connecting means to set aside time to spend with the person you love that is uninterrupted and without distraction. It usually takes the form of a date. But with intrusive NTD’s, dates can become a stressful exercise in multi-tasking (dinner, movie, etc) where you try to fit a hundred things into an hour or two, and wind up detracting from the quality of the experience. Genuine connecting can be as simple as sitting and talking for hours. It has to be time that doesn’t feel rushed, fueled by a desire to be with this person that isn’t contrived.

I’ve found that one of the worst case scenarios of an all-consuming NTD’s is when two people have become so overtaken by their schedules that they grow apart. In this situation, NTD’s have been allowed to create a distance between them that not only separates them physically but has now separated their hearts. Unchecked, this can lead to resentment, frustration, depression, guilt and anger. All of which can sound the death knell for an otherwise vibrant relationship.

After realizing the possible consequences, taking (yes, taking) the time to connect with my wife has become my priority NTD.

Like SRSLY??

I used to think that the only thing I had to be careful about when it rained in SoCal was the frenetic driving of Angelenos who seem to lose there minds (and their ability to steer) at the mere hint of moisture. However, this morning has proven to me that there are more long-term obstacles that come along with rainfall.

So my plan this morning was to drop the kids off at school and then head on over to my usual Jiffy Lube to get my regularly scheduled oil change. Unfortunately, while I was cruisin’ along, getting my fill of news radio, I hit one of the (apparently ubiquitous) potholes caused by the most recent storm. Usually when this happens, I’ll take a few second to recover from the jarring motion and be on my merry way. But this particular morning, the loud THUD I heard after hitting the pothole was followed by the sound of a warbling tired in the process of being shredded by the rim.

I immediately pulled over to assess the damage. That’s when I saw that the pothole cause a huge gash in the side of the tire closest to the rim. At that moment, I had two reasonable choices… 1) call someone who had AAA (we let our membership expire during a tough economic time a few years ago) or some other roadside assistance, or 2) check to see if there were any nearby tire stores (yay iPhone maps!) and see if I could limp there without causing any more damage to my car.

In the interest of time, I chose option 2. There was a Discount Tire Center just down the street from my location. I managed to hobble over there only to be told by one of the employees that the size/weight tire that I needed was not in stock. He said that they could order it… for $495!! I looked at the guy like he’d just kicked my dog. He immediately said, “But we can put your spare on for you.” When I asked him how much that would cost, he said they’d do it for free. That’s when the blood returned to my face.

So after they put on my spare, I leave that place and head down the street to my usual tire shop. They always take care of me and I knew they’d have a used tire that I could buy. As fate would have it, as I approached the second tire shop I hit ANOTHER POTHOLE!!! And yes, my OTHER front tire blew out. Like SRSLY?? Fortunately, it was just a matter of a few feet from where I needed to be. I managed to pull into the shop and secure really good replacement tires for $60 each. A far cry from the nearly $500 the other place was going to charge me.

After finally getting everything squared away, I was back on the road. But I decided to postpone the oil change until tomorrow. I’d had my fill of auto shops for the day.

I tell ya, you can’t make this stuff up folks.