Posts Tagged With: dating

Anniversary Eve


Tomorrow. August 7th, my wife and I will be celebrating our 9 Year Wedding Anniversary. We dated for 3 years prior to our wedding day, which gives us a good dozen years of being together.

We were talking last night and I said, “You know babe, with everything that has happened in the last 12 years… dating, getting married, having children, buying a house, changing jobs… I can’t even remember my life before you.” The best part about this? I don’t have to. 🙂

Life With Dre

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Categories: marriage, personal, relationships | Tags: , , , , , , | 9 Comments

The Struggle With Hugs


I’ll just come out and say it… I’m weird. Awkward. Maybe at times even a bit uncomfortable. To some, this isn’t news. Or maybe it is. Whatever the case may be, I’m confessing my struggle with hugging.
Hugs, you say?

Yes, hugs. Let me explain…

I love hugs. I do. I think they are perfect for expressing affection for those you love, appreciation for people who’ve done something wonderful for you, and even as a greeting for those you haven’t seen in quite a while.

The problem is that I’m painfully inconsistent. I may hug you on one day and not hug you the next. It has nothing to do with how I feel about you. I think it has more to do with over thinking the process. What I mean is this… I grew up thinking that guys don’t hug. For any reason.

Did you brake your leg? Head nod with a grunt.

Did you just have a fight with your girlfriend? Shake head while saying, “Dude.”

Did you just accomplish some major goal? Punch to the shoulder with a smile.

Now, with the exception of the common one-armed back pat with hands clasped between you, most guys I know don’t hug. So it’s not something I made a habit of doing. But this threw me WAY off later in life.

When I was younger, I had no problem hugging girls I dated or even my mom. My dad, on the other hand, was never a big hugger. Even now I think it surprises him when someone moves in for an embrace. But that’s not to say that my dad isn’t affectionate. We actually hug more now that I’m older.

Neverthless, with most friends and relatives, I probably confuse the heck out of them. Sometimes I’ll immediately go in for a hug. Other times I’ll wait for them to make the first move. And still at other times, there will be this awkward moment where neither one of us is certain if the other will offer a hug, so we’ll do this weird wobbling until we either hug or one of us moves away to end the stalemate.

I don’t know what causes me to do this. It’s not intentional. But I fear I’ve gotten to the point where my inconsistency is to be expected, and to all of a sudden start hugging people regularly would make things even more weird… or awkward… or confusing.

Who knows?

All I can say is, if you see me, give me a hug. I will never refuse them.

Categories: personal, stories | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Slow Down!


Is it just me, or don’t most people prefer to get to know someone over time? I mean, if you meet someone for the first time and you’re starting a relationship (dating or otherwise), isn’t part of the fun discovering new things about him or her as time passes?

Let’s try a scenario… Say I’m goin’ on a date with this girl… I’ll call her Bizzarabeth (Beth for short).
Okay, so Beth and I head out on our date… when I first met her at a mutual friend’s birthday party, everyone was calling her Beth so I call her Beth. On our way to dinner we make idle chatter and she mentions that her actual given name is Bizzarabeth. After successfully masking my initial shock with a throat-clearing cough, I tell her my name is Myxllence Doviticus. She does a double-take to see if I’m joking and then laughs in disbelief. I tell her I was kidding, but now the ice is broken and we’ve both loosened up. Now see, THAT kind of info is cool…no problem… no real big horror stories or traumatic life experiences.

Now let’s try another scenario…
I go to pick up Bizzarabeth from her house. I ring the doorbell and she invites me in while she gets her coat. Several people are sitting around watching TV in the den so she escorts me into the room to introduce me to everyone.

“Everyone, this is Myxl Dove” she smiles and begins to point as we move around the room.

“Myxl… that’s my father on the couch with the amputated leg… he’s a war veteran. My mom is the one sitting next to him nursing the oxygen tank.” Then she whispers, “She’s got emphysema cause she smokes so much!” I arch a brow and remain silent.

“That’s my brother. Ugh! …the 16 year old jail bird!” she says with disgust. “He’s a part-time crack dealer too.” She looks at me with earnest eyes, “If you get a chance maybe you can talk some sense into him?” She smiles and continues to lead me around the room. I force a smile, but my mind is sufficiently blown at this point.

“Over there is my baby sister.” She points at what appears to be a 4 year-old zombie in a playpen near the kitchen. “She’s blind in one eye cause my mom drank heavily during the pregnancy. Oh! That reminds me! How long will we be out?? I’m wondering if we can stop by the pharmacy to pick up my dad’s Viagra prescription before it closes?”

At this point I would most likely provide any outlandish excuse to get out of there as soon as possible. It’s not so much that her family has issues, most families do. The concern is that you don’t drop all this heavy info on someone you’ve just met. I’d rather find out about your dysfunctional family after I’ve built a strong foundation of friendship and/or love for you. You should never be anxious when cultivating a relationship… allow it to grow in it’s own time. Some people you automatically feel like you’ve known forever… some people you feel as if you’ll never know…

Categories: humor, opinion, personal, relationships | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

DOVE NOTE #87 – The Letterman Jacket


(from the forthcoming book “Dove Notes”)

When I was in high school, if a girl was dating one of the guys on the football, basketball or baseball team, you’d often see her wearing his Letterman Jacket.  It’s what I called an LJ Moment. It was a clear way to indicate that she was taken and it identified exactly by whom.  It let every other guy know they should stay away from her. She wasn’t interested in anyone trying to flirt with her because she was happy with her Letterman Jacket guy. Or something like that.

What I always found interesting is that the guy didn’t necessarily have to be around.  All of these things were still communicated simply by the fact that she was wearing his Letterman Jacket.  He could relish in the fact that she kept the jacket with her and wore it as a symbol of her pride in being with him.  Wow… I’m sure that must have felt great.

Thing is… I never played any sports in high school.  Not that I wasn’t athletic, mind you. I’ve just never been much into sports.  But I was always in the music room playing the piano, singing or having rap battles behind the stone bleachers.  Still, I would always see the girls with the Letterman Jackets and feel a little twang of envy.  I guess back then I wished I’d had a girl who wanted to wear something of mine, ya know?

I mean, I don’t know… maybe it’s just me.  But for a girl to voluntarily wear anything of mine would be the ultimate in ego stroking… but more specifically, it would’ve given me a sense of being wanted and valued.  It would’ve made me feel a little less self-conscious. And certainly would’ve helped to raise my teetering self-esteem.  Especially considering that I had some real issues about how I looked and if I fit in, etc… the usual high-school angst.

So here I am many years later married to an incredible woman and I’m realizing that I’m living the Letterman Jacket dream. I’m experiencing an LJ Moment every single day that she wears her wedding ring. It’s like the ultimate Letterman Jacket! But we don’t stop there… I get that same feeling of happiness every time she wears my shirts, my coats, my socks, my robe, my hats, my sunglasses and even when she drives my car.  And yes… I’m loving every minute of it.

So women, every now and then, pick up one of your husband’s hats or his jacket. If you really want to get into it, wear one of his dress shirts to bed. 😉 And men, if you catch your wife reaching for YOUR coat before she leaves the house, take it as a compliment. Remember that you’re the star player on her favorite team. 😉

Categories: Dove Note, Series | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

DOVE NOTE #4: Emote Control


(from the forthcoming book “Dove Notes”)

I have often been told by my women friends that when it comes to finding a suitable man, one priority is that he must possess leadership skills, while still allowing for the woman’s independence. What does this mean? Well, this is what I’ve learned…

Women (and men too, but for this I’ll say women) want to know that they are their own person. They never want to be defined by who they’re dating or to whom they’re married. They want people to know that they are capable of taking care of themselves and that they have their own opinions and preferences. It is important for others to know that they are not people who simply say yes or who blindly go along with everything their boyfriend/husband says or does. I believe this is absolutely necessary for a healthy relationship.

However, along with this, they want a man who can make decisions and take control. Someone who has purpose and vision. A man who can be a leader and make sound decisions without diminishing them. They appreciate a man who can take control of a situation, and in certain cases, take control of them (read between the lines). A good man is able to determine the appropriate time when he should compromise and when he should be firm. And even though they might make a fuss about it initially, these women admire a man who can take charge and get things done.

Never underestimate the allure of confidence and determination.

Categories: Dove Note, Series | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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