Posts Tagged With: brother

Help Wanted


You know, it continues to amazing me how much your childhood affects you as an adult. The person you become is a sum of all the experiences you’ve had and people you encountered.

I grew up in a large extended family. At one time there were 14 people living in our house. .. aunts, cousins, friends of friends, you name it. I’ve seen my parents extend a helping hand to just about any and everybody. So I’ve grown up with the same mindset when it comes to family and helping others. I’d do just about anything for my siblings (legal and non-life threatening, that is).

But in contrast, I know someone who grew up alone, raised by their mother. It shocked me how they had no real sense of family or any desire to help others unless it benefitted them in some way. It’s so bad that they don’t even expect help from other people. They even feel that if someone were to lend them a helping hand that somehow they’re imposing and burdening them unreasonably.

That type of mentality is so foreign to me. If my sibling needs help and I’m able, I help them. Even if it seems unfair to some people, it doesn’t matter… they’re family. Bottom line. And if someone offers to help me, and I KNOW that I need the help, I wouldn’t let my pride cause me to turn it down.

Isn’t that one of the reasons we’re here… to help one another?

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Categories: commentary, family, personal, relationships, stories | Tags: , , , , | 3 Comments

Death By Broken Heart


A few years ago in April, a close, dear friend of mine lost his youngest brother who was only 31 years old.  This came after losing their mother to a long battle with cancer on New Year’s Eve the year prior.

The unofficial cause of his death: A Broken Heart

See, he was very close to his mom. He and his older sister lived together, and their mom came to stay with them during her final days. They both would help take care of her. Whatever she needed, they would provide. Loving and attentive to the very end. Before she passed, he would sleep on the floor next to her bed. So it’s no surprise that he took her death very hard. At one point he admitted to being nearly unable to function at all.

One night when his sister returned home from visiting their older brother, she found him slumped over the steering wheel of his car with the engine still running. What’s remarkable is that he’d spoken to someone on the phone just 10 minutes prior. In the short period of time between that phone call and his sister arriving home, they are guessing he must have had a heart attack. It caused me to marvel to what degree grief can diminish a person’s will to live. Even unto death. I don’t know… but I do know that there is no proven remedy for the loss of a loved one. No medication or certain type of clothes to wear. No drink or remote destination. There is only time, comfort and the healing support of those who love you.

This made me contemplate my own mortality and the things I hold dear. It’s why I’ve made it a point to study the contours of my wife’s smiling face and commit them all to memory. Because these are the treasures that remain.

Categories: family, personal, relationships, stories | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Slow Down!


Is it just me, or don’t most people prefer to get to know someone over time? I mean, if you meet someone for the first time and you’re starting a relationship (dating or otherwise), isn’t part of the fun discovering new things about him or her as time passes?

Let’s try a scenario… Say I’m goin’ on a date with this girl… I’ll call her Bizzarabeth (Beth for short).
Okay, so Beth and I head out on our date… when I first met her at a mutual friend’s birthday party, everyone was calling her Beth so I call her Beth. On our way to dinner we make idle chatter and she mentions that her actual given name is Bizzarabeth. After successfully masking my initial shock with a throat-clearing cough, I tell her my name is Myxllence Doviticus. She does a double-take to see if I’m joking and then laughs in disbelief. I tell her I was kidding, but now the ice is broken and we’ve both loosened up. Now see, THAT kind of info is cool…no problem… no real big horror stories or traumatic life experiences.

Now let’s try another scenario…
I go to pick up Bizzarabeth from her house. I ring the doorbell and she invites me in while she gets her coat. Several people are sitting around watching TV in the den so she escorts me into the room to introduce me to everyone.

“Everyone, this is Myxl Dove” she smiles and begins to point as we move around the room.

“Myxl… that’s my father on the couch with the amputated leg… he’s a war veteran. My mom is the one sitting next to him nursing the oxygen tank.” Then she whispers, “She’s got emphysema cause she smokes so much!” I arch a brow and remain silent.

“That’s my brother. Ugh! …the 16 year old jail bird!” she says with disgust. “He’s a part-time crack dealer too.” She looks at me with earnest eyes, “If you get a chance maybe you can talk some sense into him?” She smiles and continues to lead me around the room. I force a smile, but my mind is sufficiently blown at this point.

“Over there is my baby sister.” She points at what appears to be a 4 year-old zombie in a playpen near the kitchen. “She’s blind in one eye cause my mom drank heavily during the pregnancy. Oh! That reminds me! How long will we be out?? I’m wondering if we can stop by the pharmacy to pick up my dad’s Viagra prescription before it closes?”

At this point I would most likely provide any outlandish excuse to get out of there as soon as possible. It’s not so much that her family has issues, most families do. The concern is that you don’t drop all this heavy info on someone you’ve just met. I’d rather find out about your dysfunctional family after I’ve built a strong foundation of friendship and/or love for you. You should never be anxious when cultivating a relationship… allow it to grow in it’s own time. Some people you automatically feel like you’ve known forever… some people you feel as if you’ll never know…

Categories: humor, opinion, personal, relationships | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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