Life Isn’t Worth Rushing

While we should strive to be punctual at all times, we will at some point find ourselves the victim of unforeseen circumstances that cause us to arrive late to an important appointment. Our tendency is to become anxious or worried. We may drive more carelessly. Take more risks. All in an effort to minimize the amount of time we’ve fallen behind.

But I think we should always remember one key thing..

There is nothing more important than you.

Without you, there will be no meeting… no interview… no presentation… no sharing of ideas… no important delivery… no signed contract, etc, etc. When we understand our own worth, we realize that, when necessary, everyone can wait.

Don’t Ask Me How I Am

Here’s a confession… there is one question, above all other questions, that I despise most in this world. That question is, “How are you?”.

Know why?

Because people who ask this question usually fall into one of two categories:

1) They are people who don’t really care AT ALL how I’m doing. They simply ask because it’s their default introductory question. The social hurdle they must clear before getting to what they REALLY want to talk about, or the first in a series of questions they’d like to ask.

2) They are people who probably really want to know how I’m doing, but would prefer the abridged version because they just don’t have the time necessary to sit and hear me go into detail about the context and content of my complex emotional state.

And I hate it.

I hate fumbling about in a vain attempt to answer that irksome question to the satisfaction of either of these two kinds of people.

I hate it because I’m NOT that guy. I mean, I am A guy. But I’m not THAT guy… the one who will tell you how I am, when it’s obvious you don’t really care to know. I’m not interested in summarizing the content of my head and heart just to satisfy your short attention span, or relieve you of any residual heaviness the truth of “how I am” might bring you.

That might be someone else’s M.O., but it’s not mine.

My life is full.

It’s busy and it’s complicated and it’s hectic and it’s thriving and it’s awesome and it’s overwhelming and it’s gratifying and it’s exhausting… and it’s beautiful.

These are not things so easily consolidated into a brief prepared statement that creates no lingering emotional maze for you to navigate. If you dare climb aboard the roller coaster that is my life, you must be prepared for all the dips, turns and loops that come with it.

The kicker is that to a degree, I kind of get it. I mean, most men are not very expressive or in touch with their feelings. Unfortunately for some, I am both. I mean, I completely understand the terse kind of responses a “how are you?” would typically elicit. I’m just wired differently.

If you REALLY want to know how I am, at least give me the courtesy of stifling your look of impatience and apathy. Realize that there are times when I desperately NEED to tell someone how I am. I need to unload some of these mental and emotional weights. We all do at some point. If for no other reason that to position ourselves to start shouldering the next crate of life events arriving daily… non-stop… whether or not you’re prepared for them.

In that regard, I am no different.

So when I ask you, “How are you?”, just know that I genuinely want to know. I’m ready to ride that convoluted roller coaster you call life.

My question is… are YOU?

Marriage and the Music Download

On Saturday, I wrote a song…

Or rather, a song was downloaded into my head. It was a total Neo inside the Matrix “I know Kung Fu.” moment. Although Saturday was the day I wrote the song down, it’s actually much older than that. Because, you know, the song was already written. It just hadn’t come to me yet. 😉

Okay, what do I mean by all this crazy talk?

Well, my wife could attest to the fact that several of the songs I’ve recorded over the years have been birthed through divine inspiration. These songs are typically a combination of experience and passion that have coalesced into this emotionally infused audio representation of God’s heart and/or my heart toward Him. This was one of those songs. Even though the lyrics are directed toward Him from me (or from others who can relate), it’s like God wrote it, but I was just the one through which he chose to bring it forth.

This happens on occasion. Far too infrequently I might add. I suppose that could change if I would sit down and listen more often. But I digress. Back to the song on Saturday…

Some songs come to me in pieces. You know, a title here, lyrics there, and maybe a melody somewhere down the line. But there are times when the song He gives me is so complete that it all comes to me at once… the words, the music, the melody, the tempo, the vocal arrangement, everything. When this happens, it’s done so with such ferocity that I can barely get it all down fast enough.

So it was that I performed this downloaded song, titled “Fall On My Knees“ the very next day at church after Sunday worship. A snippet of it is posted here… (no disclaimers)

Fall On My Knees

While I was singing, there was a point during which I was so overcome with emotion that I was very literally on the verge of tears (I didn’t include that part in the audio snippet ;-)). This sentiment was echoed by people who came up to me after service to thank me for writing and performing the song. They said it was as if the song was written specifically for them. In a sense, I think it was. It was written for everyone who is in the exact same place I was in. I was just happy to be used this way.

It’s a certainly a wonderful thing when your gift blesses God and his people. But I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge the critical piece of the puzzle that was key to this all coming together… my wife. For if it weren’t for the fact that she insisted I take some time to myself on Saturday, occupied our small tribe of children for hours, and created an atmosphere that encouraged self-care and creativity, this would never have happened.

So to my wife I say… THANK YOU, with all of my ever-expanding heart. ❤

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Compulsion

“There are fates worse than sorrow and rewards greater than wealth. I am compelled to write about them all.” – M. Dove, Sr.

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