stories

These posts include personal stories regarding various aspects of my life.

Me. Human.


Which is to say…

  • I’m an irreparable tangle of contradicting actions that are both doggedly determined and laughably frail.
  • I’m one who often skates close to the hypocrisy of sound advice given, but personally unheeded.
  • I’m sometimes altruistic as a means of pacifying the self-righteous, legalistic martyr inside that would love nothing more than to indict me on multiple charges of being egocentric.
  • I’m just as broken as everyone else, with the most inane excuse for my occasional lack of consideration being that sometimes I’m just… tired.
Categories: personal, stories | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Are You Loved or Wanted?


As a follow-up to yesterday’s post, I thought I’d take it a little further and explore the underlying motivations of some of the relationships I myself have experienced and/or observed.

I was never the guy who went on lots of dates. If I approached girls at all (you know, shy introvert and all), they would be girls I found attractive and those I could see the potential for something long term.

I know there are many of us who sometimes get into a relationship, not because we are looking for love, but are instead longing for affirmation. We convince ourselves that we are satisfied with being wanted, although not necessarily loved. The fact that some person wants us becomes enough upon which to base a semblance of a relationship. Even if, in many cases, it is destined to fail because of the shaky foundation.

Of course there is a huge difference between being LOVED and simply being WANTED.

To have someone LOVE us typically means that they’ve committed to accept us; an imperfect person with all of our relationship baggage, emotional filters, and strange family dynamics. They’ve identified something within us that makes us someone they’d rather not live without.

To have someone WANT us often means that we are more akin to a possession. It’s not so much about who we are, but rather what we represent. We’re an award, proof that the person is capable of being with someone (anyone?), or perhaps we provide the person with bragging rights or some increased level of prestige. Depending on our previous experiences, either with family or prior relationships, we somehow find this acceptable.

If we settle for just being wanted, it can leave us feeling empty, unsatisfied and undervalued. And that’s an unhealthy dynamic for any relationship. Some people see being wanted as a means to an end. Some of the women to whom I’ve spoken are in their early 20s and are afraid that if they don’t settle for someone now, they’ll have no one later. They have convinced themselves that a relationship built on being WANTED can become one revolved around being LOVED. Unfortunately, shallow relationships rarely, if ever, achieve any depth beyond their initial superficial existence.

However, I can tell you unequivocally that LOVE is worth waiting for.

My amazing wife, whom I absolutely adore and thank God for every day, was 34 years old when she married me. That would seem late to some people, but we’re going more than 15 years strong and have six (6) beautiful children. As the Rascal Flatts song says so well, it was well worth the broken road that led us to each other.

So please don’t sell yourself short because of a false perception that you’re running out of time. Because when you have a fulfilling love, it can make the rest of your life feel like an eternity.

…entirely different.

Categories: intimacy, marriage, personal, relationships, stories | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

No More Wishes


Sometimes I wish I could take you back to the point before it all happened. You know, the moment where the direction of your future rested on one critical decision. I can almost see your distress and confusion about how to proceed. I wish I could’ve been there to turn you around, look directly into your eyes and say, “This is NOT the only option. You have other choices.” And perhaps even back then, you would’ve chosen me.

When you wish…

I wish I could’ve shown you what was to come. I’d describe for you the inevitable frustrations and faulty relationships that were just a waste of your time. I would’ve told you about the one who’d break your heart and leave you wounded and guarded. Hopefully, my words would help you envision a better future and together we’d figure out how to obtain it. I would’ve told you to wait. Be patient. I would’ve told you that you have time and that someone better will come along. I would’ve told you that even if now was not the right time for us, I would wait for you.

I was thinking about this the other day when we were talking, and I realized that everything you’ve experienced in life has made you who you are today. And then I thought about the fact that you’re in my life right now, and I wonder if things had actually gone differently, there’s a chance we might never have met. How do you even hold onto the regret of losing something you never had? It’s quite possible that our paths wouldn’t have crossed and I wouldn’t even know you… there would be no occasion to think about you or your past. I would be completely oblivious to the wonder that you bring to my life. That’s when I stopped and told myself…

No more wishes.

Categories: marriage, personal, relationships, stories | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Lights Out


As you can imagine with six (6) children, my wife and I are no strangers to sudden, unexpected situations. Whether it’s a flooded bathroom, the smell of burning LEGOs, or the sound of shattering glass (and subsequent crying children), it usually means that we can pretty much forget whatever plans we THOUGHT we had for the day.😏

Even so, there are still those rare occasions that surprise us. Times when something really catches us off guard.

Such was the case yesterday.

Countdown Timer

As we prepared for worship at our 5:00pm main service, there were a few technical difficulties that, while not earth shattering, caused the service to be ever so slightly delayed. With the countdown timer nearing zero, we were all on stage awaiting the familiar sound of the tempo click in our in-ear monitors that signaled the beginning of the first song.

With enthusiasm and lots of energy, the team began to sing in earnest from the top of our lungs and the bottom of our hearts! 😃

Worship Team

And then, in what seemed like an instant, everything in the building shut down with a loud “THUNK!”. All the lights, monitors, microphones, computers, and instruments went dead. It was like someone hit the breaker and cut power to the entire building. We were plunged into darkness. 😳

What happened next was nothing short of amazing and awe inspiring.

The worship leader, thinking quickly, signaled us and had the singers continue singing the current song without missing a beat. He then encouraged the congregation to join in. Before I knew it, most of the musicians had left their instruments and joined us at the front of the stage. And without instruments or amplification, we filled the room with the sound of magnified worship! It created an atmosphere of immersive praise that emanated from every part of the room! 😍

Pastor on platform.

We finished a couple more songs a cappella as the operations team sprung into action and setup flood lights through the sanctuary. Once we had a decent amount of light, our senior pastor took the stage to address the congregation. He thanked God for those who were gathered in the sanctuary, for the church staff who attended to the children, insuring all security protocols were met, and for the willingness of everyone to help where needed.🙏🏽

He then encouraged the crowd to move forward toward the stage so that everyone would be able to hear him. and with none of the usual fanfare or elaborate video introduction that typically transitioned us from worship to the sermon, he began his message.

What followed was one of the most undeniably intimate and impactful moments I’ve ever experienced at our church.

We found out later that there’d been a car accident that damaged a transformer and knocked out power to the entire area. Our pastor prayed that everyone involved was safe, and before he was halfway done with his sermone… the lights came back on. 🤩

We ended the service with an original song that was written by our pastor and one of the worship leaders, appropriately titled, “Trust In You”. 

Categories: music, personal, religion, stories | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Cautionary ToOtH Tale


I went to the dentist yesterday. 😬

It was for an extraction. 😵

It didn’t hurt a lot (or even a little). Thank the Lord for local anesthesia. 😂

But I did think it would go a long way as a deterrent ‼️ to play out the discomfort, strict post-op care instructions, and overall dislike of only having liquids for 2+ days, in front of my kids.

Drama much? Yes, and thank you. (as I watched my kids brush extra long last night) 😏

I have no lower teeth! 😲 j/k

Categories: family, personal, relationships, stories | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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