FATCAP (A Fatherhood Capsule Story): Discombobulated Dad

When it comes to social media, I often have moments where I feel like I can’t focus on one thing. I mean, for the most part I think I’m known for my music and for my writing. 😎 And lately I’m probably becoming known for my attempts (#AnotherDay1) to get and remain in shape. 🏋🏽‍♂️

 

But most days I’m just out here like, “Oh lordy… is this suppose to be a fitness profile? I’ve posted MAYBE two photos from the gym in the last three weeks.” 😬 Because let’s be honest, there ain’t a ton of angle variety to be had in men’s locker room that’s fit for public consumption. And it’s a special kind of contortionist with 3 arms who can take a selfie while doing hammer curls. 💪🏾

 

So then I fall back on the old saying, “Do what you know.” And what I know, after more than 24 years of it, is fatherhood. Which makes me just barely qualified to explain how best to help keep small children alive, despite their best efforts to the contrary. 😇

 

Of course, the other part of me is like, “But isn’t fitness also a part of parenting? I mean, shouldn’t it be?” 🤔 I certainly don’t want to be the unhealthy dad that is suffering from wholly preventable conditions because I couldn’t be bothered to pick up a weight or take the elliptical for a spin.

 

So I’ve decided that I won’t try to figure out my “niche” other than to say that, for now, my niche is ME… and all of my topical inconsistencies that come with me.🤪

 

However, I am super thankful that there ARE people out there who really know what they want to do, how to do it, and have put together solid plans to make them happen.

 

People like my son, Micah.

 

If you’ve never seen him, bro legit looks like an olympian. 🏅He’d be scary if he wasn’t so darn relatable, charming, and always smiling. He’s a good looking guy too, and that’s not just dad smoke. lol Real talk… he could probably do 50 squats with me on his shoulders and not break a sweat. In any case, he’s planning to compete in the upcoming 2020 AZ Open Mens Bodybuilding competition in the spring, and I couldn’t be more proud.🏆

 

I look at him and imagine that I probably would’ve looked exactly like that at his age. Sorta, maybe… almost..? 🤨

 

Anyway, you should follow his journey and can check out his new YouTube channel here: https://youtu.be/dh8yq4n3u3Q. You can also follow him on Instagram @micahwelchfit.

 

So, don’t be discombobulated like me.

 

Be focused, like him. 😉

Refilling The Quiver

A Quiver Full

If there’s anything I’m certain of, it’s that there will be changes in 2020. I know that some will be amazing. While others will be completely unexpected. But with the passing of time, change is inevitable. Nevertheless, there is one change that I am particularly looking forward to… refilling my quiver.

See, my wife and I are multi-generational parents. Meaning that our six (6) children range in ages that cover two generations. Our oldest is currently 24 and our youngest is 6. It means that while we have several adolescent children at home whose very lives depend on us 😲!, we also have two adult children who are independent and fully capable of maintaining life without our intervention 😏. It’s a beautiful in-between season. I feel like we aren’t so old that we can’t relate to our adult children, and we’re still healthy and vibrant enough to keep up (most of the time 😉 ) with the younger ones.

A Crazy Quiver

These are my people… and by the end of this month, our oldest son will be moving to Phoenix, and the exodus from California will be complete. We are super excited about this upcoming season. Our older sons will be living (peacefully) together, and pursuing their dreams in careers about which they are passionate. Our younger children will be cultivating their talents, growing in their gifts, building new friendships, and giving back to others and to the body of Christ. My wife and I will finally get our grooves back with writing, singing, worshipping, and loving life!

I’m loving the outlook of 2020!

What are some of the things you’re looking forward to this year?

 

English, Thou Art Cruel

You may have heard this before. But there is good reason to despise the English language. Especially for non-native speakers! Thing is, I love to write. I really do. So it pains me to admit that sometimes my writer’s block stems from loathing the English language and all of its dysfunctionally absurd “exceptions” to established rules of grammar. Follow me for a moment…

• WOMB is pronounced “woom” and TOMB is pronounced “toom”, but BOMB is pronounced “bahm”.

Oh, uh… okay.

• A “pair of glasses”, a “pair of scissors” and a “pair of pants” actually refer to one item or article. But a “pair of shoes” refers to two items.  It could be argued that you’d look pretty silly with only one pant leg. But I think you’d also look pretty silly with only one shoe.

Here is a list of words that at first glance you would think rhyme. Think again. All of them are pronounced differently. ALL. OF. THEM.

Tough
Trough
Though
Through
Thought
Thorough

• Colonel is pronounced “kernuhl”. So Colonoscopy should be pronounced “kernoscopy” right? WRONG.
• It would also stand to reason that “take out” should not be “brought home”, but yet, it almost always is.
• If one person doesn’t “show up” for a “showdown”, it ain’t gonna happen.
• A “flight of stairs” involves no air travel whatsoever.

Oh, and don’t even get me started on Contranyms. That’s a can of worms even the most confident native English speaker would find disconcerting. If you dare, here’s a list.

Yet, I persevere. Because my love for writing outweighs my disdain for the words from which I must choose. 🙂

Hostage Situation

In many of the books that I’ve read lately, I seem to get to a place in the story where the plot, which was original and engaging up to this point, seems to be taken hostage by Cliche Renegades. All of a sudden the author resorts to unexplained resurrections, healing or super power elixirs, deus ex machina, or any number of contrived plot devices that cause my interest level to plummet.

Sometimes, I simply sigh and keep reading. In the back of my mind, I’m secretly hoping that the author will vanquish the renegades and the captivating, unpredictably fascinating and cleverly worded plot will return. Sadly, this rarely happens. The renegades threatening the plot (in cahoots with the author I suspect) usually subject me, as the unsuspecting reader, to a few more chapters of cliche-induced torture before finally ending my misery with some strange, ambiguous “to be continued” type of non-resolution… as part of a “planned trilogy”.

TANGENT: Is every book written these days part of a planned trilogy?

My real question is this… don’t most authors plot their stories with meticulous detail from beginning to end? I mean, like ALL THE WAY to the end? As an author, my approach to storytelling is to first create a unique or slightly altered world or universe, and then describe specific events occurring within it.

I’m sure there are other approaches that are effective. I’m just a fan of a good story that takes me on a colorful journal down an unpredictable path to places I’ve never been before. Maybe they start out that way and simply lose interest two-thirds of the way into the story and decide to go with a cookie cutter ending just to say that it’s finished.

I don’t know.

But I feel that while the author of a book I just finished (which of course, is part of a planned trilogy… that will remain nameless), has done a terrific job of providing great content, the “trigger” moment was a hug letdown. Especially when they teased me with an exceptional buildup of emotion over some impending event that was sure to signal the final lead-up to the climax and satisfy the part of me that has invested my time and mind to the story.  Unfortunately, the “trigger” moment wound up being an oft-used fall-back involving an abruptly administered chemical injection that has turned a portion of the population into mind-controlled killing machines. This segment of the population happens to include characters I’ve grown to care about.

When I read it, I sighed and was like, “Really?? A syringe filled with a mind-controlling substance?? That’s the cheap snack you’re feeding me after promising me a 4-course gourmet meal??”

Ugh… pay me no mind. I think I’m slowly becoming a book snob. 😛

The Words

I have a dear friend with whom I often exchange emails.

In our most recent exchange, I mentioned that I sometimes imagine our emails are actually quill and paper letters delivered by some medieval courier. My mind’s voice reads each word in some strange accent that harkens back to an old world.

Crazy? Maybe. Maybe not.

There was a time when even casual correspondence was afforded the kind of detailed attention that all relationships, regardless of their depth, deserved.

Before lolspeak and emoticons, we had carefully chosen words that were full of emotion and personality. Misconception and misunderstanding were the exception.

Hand-written letters were an intimate matter between souls where the words of men and women ended careers, established dynasties, altered the course of history, and even caused them to fall in love.

Now, the power words once held has been dispatched in favor of satisfying our impatient nature. We tweet. We pulse. We text. We snap chat. Instead of expressing myself fully so that you will not only understand my intent but hear the heart behind my words, I am asked to condense the entirety of my thoughts into 140 characters… or less.

I fear we do ourselves a disservice.

I often encourage people to speak at length when commenting on my posts. While I don’t mind the occasional succinct response, my belief is the longer, the better. Words serve to flesh out the skeletal framework of a person’s personality. As you share more, the details of who you are come more into focus. And ultimately it is that complete picture that I most desire to see.