Monthly Archives: March 2011

Like SRSLY??


I used to think that the only thing I had to be careful about when it rained in SoCal was the frenetic driving of Angelenos who seem to lose there minds (and their ability to steer) at the mere hint of moisture. However, this morning has proven to me that there are more long-term obstacles that come along with rainfall.

So my plan this morning was to drop the kids off at school and then head on over to my usual Jiffy Lube to get my regularly scheduled oil change. Unfortunately, while I was cruisin’ along, getting my fill of news radio, I hit one of the (apparently ubiquitous) potholes caused by the most recent storm. Usually when this happens, I’ll take a few second to recover from the jarring motion and be on my merry way. But this particular morning, the loud THUD I heard after hitting the pothole was followed by the sound of a warbling tired in the process of being shredded by the rim.

I immediately pulled over to assess the damage. That’s when I saw that the pothole cause a huge gash in the side of the tire closest to the rim. At that moment, I had two reasonable choices… 1) call someone who had AAA (we let our membership expire during a tough economic time a few years ago) or some other roadside assistance, or 2) check to see if there were any nearby tire stores (yay iPhone maps!) and see if I could limp there without causing any more damage to my car.

In the interest of time, I chose option 2. There was a Discount Tire Center just down the street from my location. I managed to hobble over there only to be told by one of the employees that the size/weight tire that I needed was not in stock. He said that they could order it… for $495!! I looked at the guy like he’d just kicked my dog. He immediately said, “But we can put your spare on for you.” When I asked him how much that would cost, he said they’d do it for free. That’s when the blood returned to my face.

So after they put on my spare, I leave that place and head down the street to my usual tire shop. They always take care of me and I knew they’d have a used tire that I could buy. As fate would have it, as I approached the second tire shop I hit ANOTHER POTHOLE!!! And yes, my OTHER front tire blew out. Like SRSLY?? Fortunately, it was just a matter of a few feet from where I needed to be. I managed to pull into the shop and secure really good replacement tires for $60 each. A far cry from the nearly $500 the other place was going to charge me.

After finally getting everything squared away, I was back on the road. But I decided to postpone the oil change until tomorrow. I’d had my fill of auto shops for the day.

I tell ya, you can’t make this stuff up folks.

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Categories: personal, stories | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Random Dove Thought: Holding Grudges


We’ve all made mistakes right? You know, things we wish we could take back or at least change in some way? I’ve had my share of both big and small regrets. Situations that I would’ve handled differently… People I wish I could make things right with… In the end, I guess to some degree I’ve expected the one I offended to forgive me, or at the very least, accept my sincere apology. However, there are occasions when, despite my best efforts to reconcile a situation, despite my attempts to restore what may have been lost, all of my gestures are rejected.

It’s during these times that I realize my life can not be tangled up in the emotional instability of others. If I have wronged you, whether or not it was intentional, by accident or indirectly, there is no rule book that says you have to forgive me. We are not obligated to continue as friends. My faux pas may ultimately cause us to sever all ties. But if you insist on holding onto your anger like gripping a coat in high winds, so be it. But I can’t be a party to it.

See, I feel like holding grudges is akin to refusing to treat a severe wound so that it never heals. Leaving it exposed only causes it to hurt more, become infected and pretty soon, what could have been handled with minimal discomfort has now become something excruciating that affects every thing in your life. From your emotional health to your inter-personal relationships. Even down to how you interact with the world around you.

My suggestion… let it go.

I’m certainly not saying it’s an easy thing to do. But if you’re holding a grudge against someone who’s apologized (genuinely) for it, set yourself free from that unnecessary weight! It doesn’t mean you’re all of sudden going to be BFFs. Just know that there is more to life than wasting time storing up your disappointment like weapons. When that happens, everyone ends up injured.

Categories: relationships | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

DOVE NOTE #42: Winners And Losers


You know, like most married couples there are times when my wife and I have disagreements. It doesn’t change how we feel about it other, but there are times when I feel like she’s being completely unreasonable about something. And I’m sure she feels the same way about me at times. It’s amazing how quickly the focus can be redirected toward who’s going to win instead of finding a realistic resolution. So during these disagreements, I will often find myself trying to stay calm and avoid prolonging the situation. Like, I’ll think to myself, “Okay, I won’t say yada, yada because I know it’ll make matters worse. But I will definitely bring this up at a different time so that we can further discuss this critical issue. She needs to know how I feel!”

Yeah, in the moment we might think it’s the most important thing in the world. Only to think back on it hours or days later and realize… man, that was so trivial. All of our righteous indignation flies out the window and we’re reminded of how amazing we are together and how blessed we are to be married. Now, this doesn’t mean that we won’t revisit some of these topics at a later date. But the urgency is fleeting and typically fueled by irrational emotions. We don’t have to confront each about things we’ve already apologized for. We realize that in the grand scheme of things… winning or losing doesn’t really matter if you’re both on the same team.

Categories: Dove Note, marriage, relationships, Series | Leave a comment

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