Viva La Apple!

I always laugh when I read market analysis articles about Apple…

“The Cupertino, Calif., technology company said it sold 51 million iPhones in its fiscal first quarter ended Dec. 28, up 7% from the year-ago period, after the company introduced two new models in September. Sales of iPhones, however, fell short of analysts’ expectations for 55 million units.”

What this looks like in layman’s terms…

Apple: “Hey, guess what everybody?! We sold 51 million iPhones last quarter! Yes, that million with an ‘M’.” 😀

Consumers: “Homie cow, Apple! That’s a buttload of phones bro! Congrats!”

Analysts: “Actually Apple, we’re rather disappointed.”

Apple: “Disappointed?? What do you mean? We’re up 7% over last year!” 😀

Consumers: “Woohoo! Yes, Apple! You guys rock! We love our iPhone 5LMNOP!”

Analysts: “Yeah, sure… that’s cool and all. But you really should’ve sold more like… 55 million.”

Apple: “I’m sorry… what?”

Analysts: “C’mon Apple… 51 is cool, but 55 is way better. Like WAYYYY better. It’s a bigger number and stuff. You should really be concerned about your future sustainability with shoddy numbers like that.”

Apple: “You’re kidding, right? We netted more than $13 billion during the quarter. That’s billion with a ‘B’.” 😐

Consumers: “You jelly, analyst bro?”

Analysts: *raises hands* “We’re just sayin’… 55 was the breakpoint and you missed it.”

Apple: “Well, we have 13 billion reasons to think we pretty much hit the target dead on.”

Analysts: “Okay, you don’t have to listen to us, but whe…” *gets cut off*

Apple: “Don’t worry. We won’t.”

Consumer: “Viva la Apple!” *pumps fists and then goes back to playing Candy Crush Saga*

Nutritional Sugar

Overheard today during the kids’ mid-day snack, which included a peanut butter and honey sandwich…
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Arielle: “Aaron, is honey good for you?”

Aaron: “Yes. Honey is good for you.”

Arielle: “But how can it be good for you if it’s sweet?”

Aaron: “It’s because honey contains nutritional sugar.”
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Ha! Nutritional Sugar! That Aaron… I can honestly say that’s definitely one I’ve never heard before. Gotta give the kid credit for thinking on his toes, though. 😛

What’s In Store for Two-Zero-One-Four

Hello I’ve been meaning to write a New Year’s post for the last (checks calendar) 23 days. And while I totally missed New Year’s Day, I wholeheartedly subscribe to the “better late than never” philosophy. 😉

This is my official “Welcome to 2014!” post. Albeit somewhat further into 2014 than I first anticipated. But you’ve still got a good, what… 11? 11 1/2 months to go? I think we can work with those numbers.

Okay, so this year I plan to blog more! I mean, I know that weeks have gone by since my LAST post, but we’ll just pretend that didn’t happen. M’kay?

One of the things I’d really like to do this year is establish more communication with my readers. You know, connect “on a deeper level” so to speak. Like, we start off as acquaintances who share an occasional laugh over some ridiculously juvenile meme about rainbows and coffee, and by the time this year is over, we’ll be BFF’s sharing inside jokes about that one time when I did something and you said that thing and was laughing for 20 minutes straight! Ha!

But…

First things first.

I figured one way to do cultivate our new found togetherness is to come up with a term of endearment for you all (all 11… 12… 13 of you ;-)). You know, like “Beliebers” for Justin Bieber (I am not) or “Marshmallows” for fans of Veronica Mars (I am indeed). Anyway, these are a few of the ideas I came up with:

• Dove Bars
• Dream Dovers
• Doverboys & Doverbabes
• Dove Tappers

Okay, okay… I know those are super lame. So please, if you would, help me out with some suggestions! I would be your BFAY (best friend all year)! Or at least until my WP premium expires. Which it won’t! I assure you.

So, back to 2014 stuff…

I’m working out again.

My wife and I will be celebrating out 10 year anniversary this August and I want to look even less frumpy than I did then. (Hows’ that for setting a high goal? 😛) Not that I was totally frumpy. But I want to look like I just graduated from the Super Hero Training Academy! 😀

Far fetched?

Maybe. Maybe not.

We’ll see how it goes. I’m starting off at around 200lbs. My trainer will get me down to about 185lbs, then I’ll build muscle mass back up to 200 (or as close to that without looking like some weird balloon animal).

Wish me luck! 😀

Strong Resolve

I only have one new year’s resolution… to cultivate healthy relationships.

We are relational by nature and we do ourselves a disservice to think “likes” “hearts” or “follows” will ever replace conversation and spending time with one another. So in 2014, the priority is making sure my family and friends know they are loved demonstratively.