Viva La Apple!

I always laugh when I read market analysis articles about Apple…

“The Cupertino, Calif., technology company said it sold 51 million iPhones in its fiscal first quarter ended Dec. 28, up 7% from the year-ago period, after the company introduced two new models in September. Sales of iPhones, however, fell short of analysts’ expectations for 55 million units.”

What this looks like in layman’s terms…

Apple: “Hey, guess what everybody?! We sold 51 million iPhones last quarter! Yes, that million with an ‘M’.” 😀

Consumers: “Homie cow, Apple! That’s a buttload of phones bro! Congrats!”

Analysts: “Actually Apple, we’re rather disappointed.”

Apple: “Disappointed?? What do you mean? We’re up 7% over last year!” 😀

Consumers: “Woohoo! Yes, Apple! You guys rock! We love our iPhone 5LMNOP!”

Analysts: “Yeah, sure… that’s cool and all. But you really should’ve sold more like… 55 million.”

Apple: “I’m sorry… what?” o_O

Analysts: “C’mon Apple… 51 is cool, but 55 is way better. Like WAYYYY better. It’s a bigger number and stuff. You should really be concerned about your future sustainability with shoddy numbers like that.”

Apple: “You’re kidding, right? We netted more than $13 billion during the quarter. That’s billion with a ‘B’.” 😐

Consumers: “You jelly, analyst bro?”

Analysts: *raises hands* “We’re just sayin’… 55 was the breakpoint and you missed it.”

Apple: “Well, we have 13 billion reasons to think we pretty much hit the target dead on.”

Analysts: “Okay, you don’t have to listen to us, but whe…” *gets cut off*

Apple: “Don’t worry. We won’t.”

Consumer: “Viva la Apple!” *pumps fists and then goes back to playing Candy Crush Saga*


Categories: commentary | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

Post navigation

2 thoughts on “Viva La Apple!

  1. LOL! Loved reading this!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: