Posts Tagged With: life

The Priceless Population


As a society it seems as if we value just about everything as it ages. Things like…

Wine(Paul Masson “We will sell no wine before its time“) There seems to be a general belief that when it comes to wine, older is definitely better. People have paid out extraordinary amounts of money to own rare and highly sought after spirits.

And houses: Although most houses fall into the “decrepit” category after 100 years (or less in some cases), there are still many houses (even older) that are considered “vintage” and sell for a premium, especially American Craftsman Style homes if they have all or most of their original “built ins” or have been designated historical landmarks.

And of course, baseball cards: One of the most expensive baseball card in the world is one from 1909 that was sold for a staggering $2.8 million!

Now, while I certainly think all of these aged-collectables are nice, the most notable and surprising exception to inclusion in this time-established ranking of seniority… is people.

It’s really sad to me that as people get older, instead of treating them with respect and dignity, many of them are treated like a nuisance. An inconvenience at best. We cast our elderly aside like yesterday’s newspaper. Maybe good for recycling, but more likely to be used as lining in bird cages. Where is the honor many of the aged among us so rightfully deserve? When did we become so careless with our ancestry?

I’ve purposed to simply record conversation with my older relatives, especially my parents. I sit and ask questions about a bygone era that shaped the people they eventually became. People who fell in love, got married and gave me life. I realized a long time ago that there is so much to be learned from their lifetime of experiences. I learn about our country’s history from a first-hand accounting of events. I learn about the transformation of what constituted entertainment. And I learn about our community both large and small, as well as its victories and its defeats.

So just remember, by the grace of God, we’ll all get old eventually. Make the time to give your elders the time and attention they deserve. Because the hearts of this extraordinary population, and the wisdom-laden information they provide are in a word… priceless.

Categories: family, relationships | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hero Origins


Every hero has an origin story. Likewise, every person has a back story. You know, the details of their life that predates when you met them. The back story is an intricate weaving of life experiences, social environments, family dynamics and emotional woundings that initiate a predetermined response to certain situations. What I find interesting is that sometimes we tend to enter situations unconsciously assuming none of those things exist in others.

  • We may not realize a friend was bullied in middle school before telling a joke about kids teasing other kids.
  • We may not understand why someone is sensitive to large crowds after being lost at an amusement park for 6 hours when they were 7 years old.
  • We may even think it’s okay to drag a friend out into the ocean, laughing while ignoring their pleads and animated protesting, never asking if perhaps they nearly drowned a few years ago during a similar incident.

What makes things worse is when the ignorant and uninformed take umbrage at a person’s reaction without bothering to investigate their hypersensitivity. Sometimes we just need to exercise some restraint and compassion and perhaps get to the bottom of a matter. Perhaps then we might discover interactions that promote healing instead of hurt. Words that encourage instead of instigate. Perhaps we won’t find ourselves being unintentionally offensive.

Personally, I love hearing the back story. It gives me greater insight into a person and helps me appreciate them all the more. Who knows? It could be YOUR superhero origin. What’s your back story?

Categories: relationships | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Personal Thunderstorms


Have you ever had one of those seemingly endless seasons when you’ve gone through an incredibly rough time? You know, it’s not just a bad day, but it’s like you’re standing under your own personal storm cloud. We become completely engrossed in and preoccupied by the trial we’re facing. So much so, that we can’t see or enjoy the people around us.

As an empath, I sometime fight to resist taking on the struggles and pain of others. My heart genuinely breaks for those being mistreated, suffering abuse, or battling addictions. Thing is, people are rarely going through the same thing at the same time. For each of us, there is usually no storm “harder” or “worse” than the one we’re currently facing. And I get that.

In truth, we vary so much from circumstance to circumstance and from history to history (how we grew up or the particular experiences we’ve had), that one person’s thunder storm could easily be another person’s slight drizzle.

One thing I’m sure of is that every person’s struggle is different. And we never really know what someone is actually going through. Even if on the outside things look fine. We can’t always see the turmoil within.

So I would just encourage us to show a little more compassion to our family, friends, and colleagues. Be kind…

…on purpose.

Because we never know how hard it may be just to get through the next minute for the person standing right in front of us.

Categories: relationships | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

No More Wishes


Sometimes I wish I could take you back to the point before it all happened. You know, the moment where the direction of your future rested on one critical decision. I can almost see your distress and confusion about how to proceed. I wish I could’ve been there to turn you around, look directly into your eyes and say, “This is NOT the only option. You have other choices.” And perhaps even back then, you would’ve chosen me.

When you wish…

I wish I could’ve shown you what was to come. I’d describe for you the inevitable frustrations and faulty relationships that were just a waste of your time. I would’ve told you about the one who’d break your heart and leave you wounded and guarded. Hopefully, my words would help you envision a better future and together we’d figure out how to obtain it. I would’ve told you to wait. Be patient. I would’ve told you that you have time and that someone better will come along. I would’ve told you that even if now was not the right time for us, I would wait for you.

I was thinking about this the other day when we were talking, and I realized that everything you’ve experienced in life has made you who you are today. And then I thought about the fact that you’re in my life right now, and I wonder if things had actually gone differently, there’s a chance we might never have met. How do you even hold onto the regret of losing something you never had? It’s quite possible that our paths wouldn’t have crossed and I wouldn’t even know you… there would be no occasion to think about you or your past. I would be completely oblivious to the wonder that you bring to my life. That’s when I stopped and told myself…

No more wishes.

Categories: marriage, personal, relationships, stories | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Feels: Importance


How many times have you felt undervalued by someone whose opinion matters to you?

How often are your actions dictated by the outcome you secretly hope for, but are not confident you’ll receive?

How many times must someone suffer disappointment before disappointment becomes their default expectation?

These and many questions like them have plagued me over the years. Why? Because when all is said and done, I want to be important in someone’s life. Whether they be relatives, coworkers and friends.  No, I’m not saying I want to be better than anyone. I just want to stand out amongst those they consider close. I don’t want to be lumped in with a nondescript group of “writers”, “singers”, “bloggers”, or “men”. I want something very specific to cross their minds when they think of me. Something that sets me apart from the rest. In a good way, of course. 

I can’t possibly be the only one who feels this way, can I?

Interpersonal relationships can be strange at times. I mean, underneath all of life’s chaos, I believe we simply desire true connection with other people. Even though we realize that many of these connections will vary in degrees of trust and intimacy. There will be some people you will have to keep at arm’s length. There will be others whom you will be able to trust implicitly.

Hopefully, we develop connections with people who desire the same type of relationship, and are willing to put forth an equal measure of effort. Because there’s something inherently draining about being on the short end of a non-reciprocating relationship. This has caused me to become somewhat apprehensive with people as I’ve gotten older. There is an underlying worry… maybe fear of rejection, fear of incompatibility, or the emotional (and physical) exhaustion of being an introvert who pours themselves out to depletion.

I think that’s part of the reason why I write, and specifically, blog.

It’s probably also one of the reasons it usually takes me a long time to get to know someone outside of seeing them at church, or through the words they send in an email or post on a blog, or even by the pictures I might observe in an album.

I have embraced caution. Perhaps too tightly, however.

Still, people are fascinating in the sense that they often bring a completely different personality to our interactions, or a heretofore unknown perspective on our world.  Even so, I understand that these types of relationships are vital. And in the same way that I desire to be important, I’m learning that there are many who likewise desire to be no less important to me.

And so, in spite of myself, I’m stepping out. (deep breath) 🙂 I encourage you to do the same. 😉

Categories: opinion, personal, relationships | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: