Posts Tagged With: blogging

The Feels: Importance

How many times have you felt undervalued by someone whose opinion matters to you?

How often are your actions dictated by the outcome you secretly hope for, but are not confident you’ll receive?

How many times must someone suffer disappointment before disappointment becomes their default expectation?

These and many questions like them have plagued me over the years. Why? Because when all is said and done, I want to be important in someone’s life. Whether they be relatives, coworkers and friends.  No, I’m not saying I want to be better than anyone. I just want to stand out amongst those they consider close. I don’t want to be lumped in with a nondescript group of “writers”, “singers”, “bloggers”, or “men”. I want something very specific to cross their minds when they think of me. Something that sets me apart from the rest. In a good way, of course. 

I can’t possibly be the only one who feels this way, can I?

Interpersonal relationships can be strange at times. I mean, underneath all of life’s chaos, I believe we simply desire true connection with other people. Even though we realize that many of these connections will vary in degrees of trust and intimacy. There will be some people you will have to keep at arm’s length. There will be others whom you will be able to trust implicitly.

Hopefully, we develop connections with people who desire the same type of relationship, and are willing to put forth an equal measure of effort. Because there’s something inherently draining about being on the short end of a non-reciprocating relationship. This has caused me to become somewhat apprehensive with people as I’ve gotten older. There is an underlying worry… maybe fear of rejection, fear of incompatibility, or the emotional (and physical) exhaustion of being an introvert who pours themselves out to depletion.

I think that’s part of the reason why I write, and specifically, blog.

It’s probably also one of the reasons it usually takes me a long time to get to know someone outside of seeing them at church, or through the words they send in an email or post on a blog, or even by the pictures I might observe in an album.

I have embraced caution. Perhaps too tightly, however.

Still, people are fascinating in the sense that they often bring a completely different personality to our interactions, or a heretofore unknown perspective on our world.  Even so, I understand that these types of relationships are vital. And in the same way that I desire to be important, I’m learning that there are many who likewise desire to be no less important to me.

And so, in spite of myself, I’m stepping out. (deep breath) 🙂 I encourage you to do the same. 😉

Categories: opinion, personal, relationships | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Weekly or Weakly?

It’s the very first day of the very first month of the very new year. My plan is to write more, even if it’s briefly. Because I believe that by getting into the habit of writing, I’ll actually wind up writing more frequently and with better content. At least, that’s the running theory… we will see if it becomes a weekly thing, or a thing done weakly. 😉

Welcome to 2020 folks! Myxl Dove (and by Myxl I mean Riis) is in the (virtual) building! 😀

Categories: personal, writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This Last Year

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted on this blog. Mostly it’s been because my life has been a series of peculiar events.

The sad part is that, in the past these peculiar events were the very reason I became a blogger in the first place. The only thing is I felt like I had to always explain everything which made the process of ACTUALLY blogging drawn out and quite tedious.

But the good part is that I’ve committed to blogging again. Not in the way I used to… creating posts that would either entertain or provoke deep thought. But as a way to chronicle the changes that are taking place in my life. The type of change that over the next 5 years will feel and look quite dramatic.

My wife and I have shifted our focus. And this new direction will affect the rest of our lives. So my blog posts will probably be a lot shorter. But I’ll be sure to include pertinent info. Feel free to join me on the journey. 🙂

That being said…

Tonight was a pivotal moment in that my wife and I met with The Rockets who really provided us with some clarity and encouragement. I will be starting a temp job in the morning at RAND Corporation. I’ll give more details about that later. But as it would happen, I broke my glasses tonight… the night before I start a new job. Awesome! 😛

w/The Rockets

Categories: family, personal | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

Who Am I?

My name is Maurice. All of my family and many of my friends call me Riis (pronounced Reese). So please, if you’ve friended/followed me or have been friended/followed, feel free.  I was born, raised and still reside in the County of Los Angeles, California.  I come from a Pentecostal Christian family with parents who have been happily married for 48 years. Their story is from where I draw my deep understanding of commitment and devotion. I am the youngest of 4 children with 2 brothers and one adopted sister who’s exactly 6 months older than me. I grew up in what used to be called the infamous South Central part of Los Angeles. Yes, I’ve seen drive-bys. I’ve been shot at. I’ve been involved in school brawls that included more than 50 people. And I’ve had family members murdered. But neither me, nor anyone from my family has ever been in a gang. Your learn quickly to adjust to your environment and how to survive the set of circumstances you’re dealt.

I am a husband and father. I have 5 children, 4 boys and 1 girl. My oldest 2 boys are from a previous marriage that lasted from June 4, 1994 to March 3, 2001. It was especially painful to be in court on Valentine’s Day 2001 as the judge handed me the papers granting us a dissolusion of marriage that would take effect in less than 3 weeks time. I have always been, and continue to be an advocate for marriage. My current marriage began on August 7, 2004. Dre and I will be happily celebrating our 8th anniversary this year. The difference between the two is like night and day. I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating… I used to think relationships like this only existed in movies. You know, the flirty looks, giddy teasing, full of adventure, romance between two like-minded people who began as best friends and ended up as lovers. That’s us. She is, in a word, extraordinary. In my eyes no woman will ever compare.

I am a musician. Music is my passion. I dream music. When I hear music I can literally see the movement of the notes, the syncopation and the various instruments used. It’s hard to explain, but it’s a type of synesthesia. Music literally conjures images in my head. It is a part of me as much as breathing. I began playing the piano at age 7. It wasn’t that my parents felt that all of us kids should learn an instrument. No, that wouldn’t be interesting at all.  It all started because the brand new piano my parents bought for my older brother to practice on, sat in our living room untouched because he grew bored with the lessons he previously begged for.  I, on the other hand, was fascinated by this monsterous noise maker and decided that since no one else was using it, I’d teach myself to play. And I did. Slowly but surely I went from finger pecks to two-hand quad-chords. I have never had a formal lesson, but I’ve been a studio session musician, played in a few bands, and on good days I can play circles around some trained musicians. I have also taught myself to play the drums, guitar and a little trumpet.

I am a thespian. I won a trophy in a Cal-Poly Pomona Shakespear Festival in the Male Monologue category at age 16. I was Marc Antony from Julius Caesar. I have been in plays, on TV and even in movies. Never as the lead, but with enough exposure to put together a pretty impressive bio if I wanted to pursue it full-time. But I don’t. It’s not the life I wanted to lead, although it was fascinating getting a glimpse into that world.  Plus, it afforded me a SAG card which comes with its own perks. The acting comes in handy with everyday life at times. I can be quite convincing when I need to be, but I never abuse this talent.

I am a writer. I’ve been blogging since early 2001. Writing is probably second on my list of passions. I love to write and express myself in the written (or typed) word. I am not a grammer nazi, but my eyes are often automatically drawn to what I consider blatant typos in professionally published material.  I know the difference between accept and except, and I can give you the what-for in regards to new words being added to the dictionary, like noob, l33t or bootylicious.

I could go on and on about the various ingredients that were combined to make me who I am today. But at least that’s a beginning. If there’s anything that may have stirred up a follow-up question, feel free to ask me. My life is transparent.


Categories: personal | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

I’m Writing Again!

This may seem strange considering that I have multiple blogs and I’m fairly active on any number of social networks. But I’ve recently found my muse and I’ve been inspired to return to writing! Not the blog article/occasionally-way-too-long-comment kind of writing. I mean the novel/short story kind of writing.

Over the years I’ve started several books with such provocative titles like “Puncture Wounds” and “Come Kill Me”. But for some reason they all wind up abandoned with their potential unrealized. Well, I’ve finally decided to finish them all, starting with a short story called “Ring The Alarm”.

I should be done with the first draft by this weekend, after which I will delve headlong into revisions and polishing. But for now, I’d like to share a snippet with you. I cover your comments. This is from the first chapter titled “The Institute”… Continue reading

Categories: personal, writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

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