(from the forthcoming book “Dove Notes”)
My darling wife solely depends on me to keep her computer software and other technological gadgets up to date. It’s just one of many things about her that I find to be very endearing. She’ll often tell me when she wants to refresh the songs, photos or videos on her iPhone, and I happily oblige. When I recently upgraded her iOS, I suggested she sync it with iTunes on her Macbook. To which she replied with the most adorable of faces, “You’ll have to show me how to do that. You know that I have no idea how this stuff works.” I just smiled. Why? Because I never mind doing these kinds of things for her. It makes me feel… what’s the word… USEFUL. 🙂 I’m sure most men like to feel useful. Just as I’m sure a lot of women could attest to this fact when they see their men approach situations from that typically male place of being a “fixer”. I mean, it’s always nice to feel needed, and adding songs to her iPod certainly isn’t the only way my wife does this for me.
However, it got me to thinking… perhaps we’ve gotten to a place in our marriage where my wife feels like she doesn’t need to be an expert on certain things because she knows that I’ll take care of them for her. And it’s not just her. I’m sure this goes both ways since we’re a team. And being part of an effective team is knowing your partner has certain areas covered that you no longer need to worry about. It’s truly liberating. Sure, there are things you could probably do yourself. But you have to decide what is important in your relationship. You don’t have to choose independence over connection. You can have both. So even if my wife eventually becomes a technology wizard, I’ll still appreciate her allowing me to contribute to our relationship in this way. It’s a beautiful thing. Especially when you realize there’s love demonstrated in both the giving and receiving.