Posts Tagged With: self esteem

Believe


I didn’t believe you when you said that time could heal all wounds.
Scars hardened and deep.
New cuts still inflictable.
The more I tried to cover them, the more obvious they became.

I didn’t believe you when you promised to never leave me.
It must be too hard to keep.
Others have broken it, incapable.
I’m skeptical to a fault. My actions influencing a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I didn’t believe you when your many kisses told me you wanted me.
It was too wide a leap.
Faith and self-esteem conflictable.
Why would you be different than the others who’ve come before you?

I didn’t believe you when you innocently wished me sweet dreams.
For when I dream, I weep.
My nights are unstable.
The culmination of every suppressed memory I’ve tried my best to forget.

I didn’t believe
…but you healed my wounds.
…and you stuck around.
…and your desire never waned.
…and with you I’ve slept sound.

I just wish I’d believed you sooner.

by Myxl Dove
© 2009 Browel Publishing

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Categories: prose, relationships, writing | Tags: , , , , , , | 3 Comments

DOVE NOTE #87 – The Letterman Jacket


(from the forthcoming book “Dove Notes”)

When I was in high school, if a girl was dating one of the guys on the football, basketball or baseball team, you’d often see her wearing his Letterman Jacket.  It’s what I called an LJ Moment. It was a clear way to indicate that she was taken and it identified exactly by whom.  It let every other guy know they should stay away from her. She wasn’t interested in anyone trying to flirt with her because she was happy with her Letterman Jacket guy. Or something like that.

What I always found interesting is that the guy didn’t necessarily have to be around.  All of these things were still communicated simply by the fact that she was wearing his Letterman Jacket.  He could relish in the fact that she kept the jacket with her and wore it as a symbol of her pride in being with him.  Wow… I’m sure that must have felt great.

Thing is… I never played any sports in high school.  Not that I wasn’t athletic, mind you. I’ve just never been much into sports.  But I was always in the music room playing the piano, singing or having rap battles behind the stone bleachers.  Still, I would always see the girls with the Letterman Jackets and feel a little twang of envy.  I guess back then I wished I’d had a girl who wanted to wear something of mine, ya know?

I mean, I don’t know… maybe it’s just me.  But for a girl to voluntarily wear anything of mine would be the ultimate in ego stroking… but more specifically, it would’ve given me a sense of being wanted and valued.  It would’ve made me feel a little less self-conscious. And certainly would’ve helped to raise my teetering self-esteem.  Especially considering that I had some real issues about how I looked and if I fit in, etc… the usual high-school angst.

So here I am many years later married to an incredible woman and I’m realizing that I’m living the Letterman Jacket dream. I’m experiencing an LJ Moment every single day that she wears her wedding ring. It’s like the ultimate Letterman Jacket! But we don’t stop there… I get that same feeling of happiness every time she wears my shirts, my coats, my socks, my robe, my hats, my sunglasses and even when she drives my car.  And yes… I’m loving every minute of it.

So women, every now and then, pick up one of your husband’s hats or his jacket. If you really want to get into it, wear one of his dress shirts to bed. 😉 And men, if you catch your wife reaching for YOUR coat before she leaves the house, take it as a compliment. Remember that you’re the star player on her favorite team. 😉

Categories: Dove Note, Series | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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