Posts Tagged With: kill

MIRACLES: The Many Lives of Dove


I was inspired to write about my own miracles. The indisputably tangible evidence of God’s hand upon my life…

Circa 1975: As a toddler, my mother said that I was rambunctious and curious about everything. My mother would tell me later that I was a very active child and she could often tell what I was doing by the amount of noise I was making.  Well, one day while playing in the house in another room, I all of a sudden fell silent. When my mother looked over at me she saw me convulsing violently on the floor. This was the beginning of my battle with idiopathic epilepsy. A battle that included multiple daily doses of penicillin and blood tests at least 3 times a week. A battle that was frightening and complex, being told that I could die. A battle I would continue to fight until the age of nine when, after telling my parents that he was tired of seeing me suffer these frequent grand mal seizures, the pastor of our church took me to his home for a few days saying he was going to God in order to finally put an end to this. I honestly do not remember what he did. Because of my seizures, I don’t remember much before the age of 9. But I can tell you what God did. I was taken off medication and never had another seizure after that day.

God: 1 The Devil: 0

September 1984: My father owned an old blue Ford pickup truck that looked like a replica of the one driven by Fred Sanford. It didn’t have seatbelts, because apparently prior to 1975, passenger safety wasn’t a top priority. So one Sunday evening after church service was over, I followed my father and older brother out to the truck which was parked just in front of the church. As we got in, I was sandwiched between them with my hands folded across the bible on my lap. No sooner had my father turned the ignition than BAM! Some guy rear-ended us. HARD. The jolt threw my head forward and banged it against the dashboard. Back then, those trucks were built like tanks with all metal construction and none of the current plexiglass metal alloy. Damage to the truck was minimal. Thankfully, the dashboard had a padded leather covering and although my face was definitely bruised, the paramedics said it could’ve been a lot worse. Like brain damage or death…

God: 2 The Devil: 0

December 1984: One week prior to this incident, I’d been released from the hospital after having my appendix removed.  I was again following my father out to the truck after choir rehearsal. This time, the truck was parked across the street. I looked both ways down the road before starting toward him. Again, seemingly out of nowhere, a car comes barreling around the corner and, yep, you guessed it… BAM!! He hit me dead on. The following details were relayed to me later… the same brother that was in the truck with me the first time, was standing on the sidewalk when this all happened. He started screaming hysterically, running back into the church. My dad runs over to me and my mom comes out to see what happened. I’m in the street. Broken. The force of the impact tossed me into the air and threw me a good 50 feet. When I hit the ground I was out cold and my brother thought I was dead. 15 minutes had passed before I regained consciousness. The paramedics were already there. I woke up crying and disoriented. I glanced at my right leg to see it bent in a place it shouldn’t bend. The bone was exposed and the pain was excruciating. This of course, is a compound fracture. I wound up back in the same hospital room I’d been released from a week ago. I would not wish this kind of pain on my worst enemy.  But the pain let me know that I was still alive…

God: 3 The Devil: 0

There are many other experiences in my life I could share, but I think these illustrate my point. Sometimes it seemed as if the devil was determined to kill me.  Which was strange because I never considered myself significant or special. But the facts remain. I would not be alive if not for God’s mercy and intervention.

Categories: personal, religion, stories | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

DOVE NOTE #67 – Murder of the Mood


Okay men, raise your hand (or simply nod in sullen agreement) if you’ve even had one of those days where you and your wife have been eying each other up all day. Flirty text messages flying back and forth.  Leaving little notes around the house full of cryptic innuendo. Wearing her favorite fragrance. Having brief conversations on the phone full of titillating descriptives. All of this in anticipation of getting intimately skinected to one another later. And then…

You ask a brainless question about her choice of clothing, or make a sideways statement about weight whose context is misconstrued, or simply fail to see, remember or do something rather important and BAM! You’ve killed the mood and sex is abruptly OFF the table… for the evening, possible for the week depending on the severity of the crime. Of course, you feel blindsided and you have no idea how you went from the Playboy Penthouse to the Devil’s Dog House. 😦

If this sounds familiar, just know that you’re not alone. There are many men who have inadvertently murdered an otherwise amorous mood. I call these moments instances of “Sudden Libido Disruption“. Sometimes the SLD is so great, the rift now between you so wide, that there is usually little chance of recovery, if any.

So how do you avoid the relational faux pas that result in SLD? Well you have to start of by understanding what has taken place. As I’ve mentioned earlier, for many women intimacy is tied inextricably to the heart and mind. This is why it’s important to keep the focus on the two of you throughout the day. Those breathy phone calls and sexting go a long way to filling her thoughts with being together. A major barrier to arousal is anything that would cause her to become distracted or preoccupied. So you don’t want to introduce any topic, situation or circumstance that might hijack her mind. Mindjackers can manifest in the form of frustrating circumstances (ugh… you didn’t take the garbage out like you promised and now there are ants all over the kitchen!) or financial discussions (wait, I thought YOU were going to pay the gas bill?) or even comments that prompt “futurisms(sigh.. I just have to lose this last 15 pounds before Christmas). It doesn’t even have to be that she’s necessarily mad at you, but the result is the same: SLD.

The bottom line is this… be mindful of what you say and be sensitive to where she’s at emotionally. You won’t lose with healthy doses of encouragement, attention and good ol’ fashioned romance.

Categories: Dove Note, intimacy, marriage, relationships, Series | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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