This is Part II of my series on FLIRTING. To read Part I, please click HERE.
RECAP: Flirting is an art form… There are methods that resemble artistic masterpieces, and others that resemble dirty scribbles on a dinner napkin. This post will help you determine where you fit in, or even IF you fit in.
Do you flirt? Yes, you do… whether you realize it or not. For most people, flirting is autonomic. Whenever you encounter a situation that calls for motivation, influence or even manipulation of some sort, the Flirt AutoPilot takes over and off you go!
So why is it that some people are better at it than others? Let’s explore the many factors…
EXPERIENCE: As a friend once so aptly put it (and I’m paraphrasing), “The more I’m rejected, the better I become.” In essence, this means that if you never try, you’ll never succeed. Being good at flirting is something that you fine-tune over time. You find out what works for you, and you cultivate it… heavily. Some may think its silly, but people who spend time working on themselves, developing their best attributes, often see a significant increase in their success rate.
APPEARANCE: How you present yourself to others can mean the difference between success and failure. There’s an old saying that goes, “A First Impression Is A Lasting One”. You will almost ALWAYS be judged by by your first impression, no matter what you may say or do afterword. Your initial approach is a major factor. You are engaging in shameless self-promotion, so treat it as such. There are 3 KEY POINTS: 1) Wear colors that compliment your complexion… 2) Avoid clothing that emphasizes any part of your body disproportionately… and 3) Remember, “Provocative” and “Sleazy” are two VERY different things. You want to stimulate an interest, not an illness.
INTELLIGENCE: This may be a more difficult issue for some people. But for the rest of you Rhodes Scholars, read on. In addition to your outward appearance, your intelligence is also on display. Some women (and men) have pre-programmed rejection statements. You have to be prepared to offer a counter-statement, and you can’t fumble over your words. Your level of wit is closely related to your level of intelligence. Insecurities can be overcome with knowledge… knowledge of who you are… knowledge of how you look… and knowledge of what you have to offer. This goes hand-in-hand with your self-confidence.
DETERMINATION: You should never throw in the towel as soon as you experience rejection. It WILL happen. I don’t care what anybody says. Everybody, at some point in their life, will be rejected. You can be drop dead gorgeous and still get rejected. Why is this? Because the reality is that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. So you may very well be the apple of one person’s eye, while being totally repulsive to someone else. Well, maybe not that dramatic. But beauty is, and shall always be, subjective. Understand and remember what it is that makes YOU attractive. Confident people project an aura of confidence that is very appealing. A rejection is not always what it seems. Some people need to be approached more than once. Some people play mind games (another tool of some flirts, but perhaps we’ll address that in a subsequent post). Regardless, if you want something bad enough, you’ll do what it takes to make sure you get it (within reason of course… and legally, mind you).
Okay, that’s enough for now. Take this information and keep it for your records… or throw it out. 😛 But who knows… it may prove invaluable some day. 😉 Part III will probably be posted tomorrow, if I’m not at the hospital.