Posts Tagged With: help

Help Wanted

You know, it continues to amazing me how much your childhood affects you as an adult. The person you become is a sum of all the experiences you’ve had and people you encountered.

I grew up in a large extended family. At one time there were 14 people living in our house. .. aunts, cousins, friends of friends, you name it. I’ve seen my parents extend a helping hand to just about any and everybody. So I’ve grown up with the same mindset when it comes to family and helping others. I’d do just about anything for my siblings (legal and non-life threatening, that is).

But in contrast, I know someone who grew up alone, raised by their mother. It shocked me how they had no real sense of family or any desire to help others unless it benefitted them in some way. It’s so bad that they don’t even expect help from other people. They even feel that if someone were to lend them a helping hand that somehow they’re imposing and burdening them unreasonably.

That type of mentality is so foreign to me. If my sibling needs help and I’m able, I help them. Even if it seems unfair to some people, it doesn’t matter… they’re family. Bottom line. And if someone offers to help me, and I KNOW that I need the help, I wouldn’t let my pride cause me to turn it down.

Isn’t that one of the reasons we’re here… to help one another?

Categories: commentary, family, personal, relationships, stories | Tags: , , , , | 3 Comments

DOVE NOTE#17: Hearing Aids

(from the forthcoming book “Dove Notes”)

It is very important to realize that when she is sharing her problems with you, she is not as interested in you fixing her problems as she is in you listening and understanding her problems. Most of the time, she already believes that you will provide any assistance she may require LATER, if you are really listening NOW. She needs to know that you truly care about what she’s feeling, which is being conveyed by what she’s saying.

Under no circumstance should you ever… EVER… interrupt her. She has a pre-approved time requirement that must be met before you can speak. Keep in mind that this time varies and she typically will not disclose this time requirement prior to your conversation. Meeting this time requirement is an indication that your mind isn’t preoccupied with finding solutions, but is fully engaged in processing every word she is saying.

You can never go wrong being a great listener. Trust me.

Categories: Dove Note, relationships, Series | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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