As I get older (not OLD), I realize how the people who have come and gone in my life have affected me… some good, some bad, some inconsequential… but I must acknowledge the influence. It shows up in the things I do… the things I say… and even the people I get along with, or not. 🙂 My life, my opinions, my reactions, as well as my perspectives are truly a reflection of any and everyone I’ve known or met over the years.
I notice certain traits that creep up every now and then which cause me to stop and say things like, “Ha! I’m acting like my father.”😄 or “Wow, I must’ve picked that up from my brother.” 🤔 Mostly this happens with the people with whom I spend considerable time… which I would imagine is a telling sign of which people have become more important in my life, at least in this season. The fact is, I act like my parents… my siblings… my close friends (online and off)… and even a few co-workers. All of these people have contributed in some way to shaping the persona that I present to the world each day.
I would probably guess that most of the people I’ve known have contributed something positive to my life. This is usually intentional. But not always. Either through conversations, interactions, or just simple observations, there exists an index of key individuals in my life who have left pieces of themselves behind as they passed by. And until now, these pieces, these behavioral imprints, have just been collecting inside me. Consciously ignored at times? Maybe. But no less impactful in my everyday. As I began to investigate this list, I understood that some of my present-day idiosyncrasies have been molded by the hurts, habits and hang-ups of my past, and the various people at the source of them.
[cue CR theme song... which I've been meaning to write 😉]
Last year I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and healing. It has been facilitated through my willful and thankful participation in Celebrate Recovery. I have dared to ask questions of myself. 🧐 To explore memories I’d long forgotten or suppressed. I’ve reflected on this list of people and the pieces of them I still carry with me. And I have made the determination that some of these are weights I no longer need or desire to bear.
It does make me wonder if some of them even realize to what extent they’ve shaped me. Sometimes the things other people may consider small or trivial, are the very things that will impact your life forever. But I am long overdue to finally lay down some of these bones… for good.
Are there people who’ve had a major influence in your life? What kind of bones do you think you may be carrying around unnecessarily?