Posts Tagged With: context

Shattered Boxes


I always find it interesting how we create these images of various people we’ve met. You know, we have a particular idea about how they probably behave, talk or react to the world when we’re not around. This inevitably puts them in a particular box that we are none too quick to release them from. So much so, that when they do or say something that goes against our established image of them, we think it’s “out of character” or that “something must be wrong”.

Personally, I think people are multifaceted beings that have a propensity to exhibit behavior that could seem contradictory in nature. What it really means is that there is more to each of us than we share with every individual. For instance, some people know me for my writing, while others know me for my music. And there are others who have absolutely no idea that I write OR sing. For them, finding out that I do either (or both) would completely shatter their image of me.

Which is a bit sad considering those particular things have always been a part of me, even if I haven’t shared them.

So yeah… there are parts of me that I share with some people and not with others, depending on the context of our discussion and the depth of our friendship. And so it goes, that in getting to know people, we discover other parts of who they are.

To me, that’s the most exciting part about developing relationships… there is always the potential for surprise.

Categories: relationships | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Are You Stupid?


It is no secret that I have an unyielding love for words. I’ve reiterated the fact on many occasions that to me, an extensive vocabulary (and the ability to use words effectively) is akin to foreplay. So today is about two words: IGNORANT and STUPID. Though often used, they are rarely understood.

I’m sure you’re wondering what I’m getting at. Well, I’ve had a few, lets call them, “altercations” in the past over my use of the word “ignorant” to describe someone. The common misconception is that calling someone ignorant is the same as calling them stupid.  It’s not. If you don’t understand that, you’re ignorant. If you are offended by that statement, you’re stupid. Wanna know why? Let’s take a look…

IGNORANT Ig”no*rant, a. [F., fr. L. ignorans, -antis, p. pr. of ignorare to 
be ignorant. 1. Destitute of knowledge; uninstructed or uninformed; untaught; 
unenlightened. 2. lacking knowledge or information as to a particular subject 
or fact: ignorant of quantum physics. 
STUPID [stoo-pid, styoo‑] adjective, -er, -est, noun –adjective 
1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 
2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless. 
3. tediously dull, esp. due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless

So if I call you ignorant (and rightly so in many cases), it’s because you are woefully uninformed and lack knowledge. Such as when people leave ignorant comments on my blog posts after taking a word or phrase out of context. If I say, “Rich people suck!”, I really need you to understand that this is an opinion probably based on a bad experience. And that bad experience was probably provided in full detail after my opening statement. Please don’t leave me a diatribe about the philanthropic tendencies of most affluent residents of Bel Air. 1) I don’t care. 2) You are ignorant. 3) You’ve completely missed the point of the post. Want to really piss me off? Lace your diatribe with thinly veiled insults. That makes you stupid. Yeah, STUPID.

Let’s get something straight. I’m fully capable of talking people under the floor. I can belittle you with my words, be purposely condescending, and give you a couple dozen reasons to dislike me. But I choose not to do that. Because it’s pointless and I don’t gain affirmation by making others look bad. There are plenty of people who will oblige you in that regard. I’m just not one of them.

So I’m just asking you to do one thing: READ.  No, make that two things: Pick up a dictionary sometime. When you use a word incorrectly, guess how it makes you look?

In our next episode of: How To Use A Dictionary, we tackle the difference between Offended and Insulted. Guess what? They’re not the same either! 😉

Categories: humor, writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

How Goes Love


A post on the effect of proper context. I’m amazed at how you can say the exact same thing in 10 different ways and have 10 very different meanings. So goes LOVE



“I love you!” – followed by a smile in response to something funny you did that made me fall out laughing.

“I love you” – preceded by “aww”, because of something you did that was extremely thoughtful and considerate of me.

“I love you” – while staring dreamily into your eyes when I realize how blessed I am to have you in my life.

“I love YOU” – so that you’ll know that this heart and these feelings are exclusively yours.

“I LOVE you” – in answer to your unspoken question when I’ve inadvertently offended you to prove it wasn’t intentional.

“I love you” – between breaths after mind-blowing sex.

“I… love you” – as a declaration of my commitment to you just before I get down on one knee and propose.

“I love you” – reaffirming the joy I have in providing for my family while heading out the door to work.

“I love you” – with a slight inflection while on the phone to let you know that I can’t wait to see you when I get home.

“I love you” – because of the way you love me.


I’m sure there are probably a hundred more I could come up with. I readily admit to having used every single one of these with my wife at one point or another. I believe that when you’ve given your heart to someone who values and cherishes it so deeply, you can never say “I love you” enough.

Categories: relationships, writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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