Posts Tagged With: cancer

Death By Broken Heart


A few years ago in April, a close, dear friend of mine lost his youngest brother who was only 31 years old.  This came after losing their mother to a long battle with cancer on New Year’s Eve the year prior.

The unofficial cause of his death: A Broken Heart

See, he was very close to his mom. He and his older sister lived together, and their mom came to stay with them during her final days. They both would help take care of her. Whatever she needed, they would provide. Loving and attentive to the very end. Before she passed, he would sleep on the floor next to her bed. So it’s no surprise that he took her death very hard. At one point he admitted to being nearly unable to function at all.

One night when his sister returned home from visiting their older brother, she found him slumped over the steering wheel of his car with the engine still running. What’s remarkable is that he’d spoken to someone on the phone just 10 minutes prior. In the short period of time between that phone call and his sister arriving home, they are guessing he must have had a heart attack. It caused me to marvel to what degree grief can diminish a person’s will to live. Even unto death. I don’t know… but I do know that there is no proven remedy for the loss of a loved one. No medication or certain type of clothes to wear. No drink or remote destination. There is only time, comfort and the healing support of those who love you.

This made me contemplate my own mortality and the things I hold dear. It’s why I’ve made it a point to study the contours of my wife’s smiling face and commit them all to memory. Because these are the treasures that remain.

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Categories: family, personal, relationships, stories | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

My Father, Which Art On Earth


COUNTDOWN: 9 days until Father’s Day…

Let me first say that my dad is an amazing man. He is not perfect, but he is amazing nonetheless. Out of all of his children, he and I probably share the most in common… our love for reading, technology and science fiction… our appreciation for the analytical, educated debate and bits of trivia… we can sit and talk for hours. On many occasions we’ve done just that.  I don’t have the tragic father experiences that many of my friends have endured. My parents have been married for 48 years and my father has never been abusive, inattentive, distracted, mean or addicted.

I can tell you who he is though…
He bought me a Commodore 64.
He’s the one who turned me onto reading SciFi.
He took me to get haircuts at Joe’s Barber Shop every weekend.
He helped me put together my first science project in the 3rd grade.
He sat by my hospital bed when I was twelve after I’d been hit by a car.
He stood next to me at my High School graduation, beaming with joy and pride over his youngest son.
He helped me buy my first car (a vintage 1965 VW Beetle Auto-Stick).
He loves his grandchildren like there’s no tomorrow.
He mortgaged his house to send me to school.
He helped remodel my house.
He encourages my music.
He is… the best.

So I was a bit disturbed when I found myself 3 years ago talking with my father… in his hospital room.

But don’t worry… this is a happy story. I’ll start from the beginning…

More than a decade ago, my father had a mild heart attack (that story HERE) and ever since then he’s been having regular full body check-ups as a precaution. Well, in 2009 during one of his  check-ups, the doctors noticed a cyst on one of his kidneys and told him that it would be best to have surgery and remove it. Just to be safe. My father said yes. So on the day they scheduled surgery to remove the cyst, he was told to arrive at the hospital at 5am for a 7am surgery time.

So my parents were up and out of the house, arriving at the hospital by 5:00am where he was admitted and prepped for surgery. But there was a problem… the doctor had a scheduling conflict and there would be a delay.  Hmm… okay.  Apparently, this is a common occurrence.  Something about patients with more acute conditions being bumped up on the schedule. No problem. So my dad sat in the ready room until about 11:30am before the doctor was available. *sigh*  He didn’t actually enter surgery until about 1:30pm.  So the doctor began surgery to remove the cyst only… it wasn’t just a cyst. A biopsy was performed during the surgery which revealed that it was actually cancer. :-O  So the doctor goes in and cuts away the growth and affected tissue.  A second biopsy comes up negative. Thankfully, he was able to remove ALL TRACES OF THE CANCER and my dad has been completely cancer-free ever since! No additional treatment or therapy necessary. See, I told you this was a happy story. 😀 Thank God for early diagnosis!

Now, I would’ve gone to see my dad at the hospital that night, but he didn’t come out of surgery until well after 7:00pm. Even then, they put him in a recovery room for the next 3 hours before moving him to his patient room around 11:00pm. Yeah… what’s that… about 18 hours total? My mom had said to just come visit him in the morning. And so… that’s what I did. Before work, I went to talk and laugh with my dad.

So this post is dedicated to this amazing man. My father.

Categories: personal, stories | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Sex, Cancer and Immortality


You may wonder what the title of this post is about. How do these three things relate? It’s quite simple and I will explain. But first, let me start by saying that I find my wife to be quite attractive. No, what I mean to say is that she is smokin’ hot! shy

Sorry. Got a little carried away.

Anyway, after the birth of fifth child (who is now 10 months old), we decided to check on different types of birth control including a vasectomy. However, after careful research, I found out that there is a chance of increased risk of prostate cancer  in men who’ve had vasectomies. So yeah, decided not to go that route. :-/

However, my wife was telling me the other night about an interview she watched where a woman was talking about the importance of intimacy within marriage and how she (the woman being interviewed) decided that she would purpose to have sex with her husband every day. As of the taping of the interview, the couple had daily sex consistently for more than a year. In addition to living longer, one of the other benefits of having sex more often is… wait for it… reduces risk of Prostate Cancer!

 

So back to relevance of the title… Sex, Cancer and Immortality.

I’m thinking that this is how it’ll all work out..

1. Having a vasectomy –
2. Will result in more sex –
3. Which will actually reduce the increased risk of prostate cancer –
4. And effectively negate its effects
5. And help me live forever.

That’s a pretty solid plan if you ask me.

Categories: intimacy, relationships, sexuality | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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