Posts Tagged With: best friend

KNOWING LOVE


This is a picture of my wife at 4 years old.

andrea-at-4

Every time I look at this picture, I smile and think to myself, “I wish I’d known her then. I would’ve been her friend!” Seriously, I would’ve friended her so hard. lol I would’ve rode bikes, made mud pies, endured protracted doll activites, discovered bugs in the yard, and listened to every fantastic tale her young mind could conjure. I would’ve done all of it. Gladly.

I used to lament the fact that I didn’t know her when she was younger. That is, until I understood something very important…

She is still that little girl.

That 4-year-old little girl lives inside of her. And every time she shares with me stories of her childhood, or introduces me to cousins she used to visit in the summer, or I sit and watch while she reminisces over faded, old photos of Canadian farmland, I learn more about her 4-year-old self… and her 13-year-old self… and any other year-old versions of her that I may not have witnessed firsthand. And I fall in love with each and every one of them.

Because they are all still there.

As I picture this beautifully blonde, rambunctiously creative, spirited little girl, I realize that I love and have loved… all of her, throughout time. It is impossible to separate the woman she is, from the girl she was. They are one and the same.

So I no longer wish I’d known her at 4-years-old, because… I do. I know her as a preteen in the school performance at Play Mountain Place. I know her as the high school graduate who set off on her first year at UC Santa Cruz. I know her as the coed who took a summer trip to a lake house with friends. And I know her as the woman who bought her first house in Pasadena. I know… HER.

Instead, I now wish that I will continue to know her until she’s 104-years-old. Because I can’t imagine a more amazing gift than over a century of knowing and loving someone like her.

Happy Valentines Day, my love. ❤

Categories: marriage, personal, relationships, stories | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Forever Wounded?


Today I recalled a discussion with my wife a while ago where we talked about healing… more specifically, Emotional Healing.

This is a topic I believe many people often misunderstand.  Unlike other types of wounds, emotional wounds typically extend deep, manifesting with both physical and emotional scarring, and requiring an extended recovery period.  The length of time it takes to heal emotional wounds can depend on different variables including:Photo by Nisha A

  1. The type of wound… whether it be betrayal, abuse, a bad reputation, public ridicule or even neglect.
  2. The person inflicted… some people have a higher threshold for pain and can therefore endure far more than others.  So what may be emotionally fatal to one person, might be seen as simply an emotional abrasion to someone else.
  3. The person who caused the injury… in some cases it can be far more damaging to be wounded by a family member than a friend.

Either way, these wounds require delicate handling so that they are not re-opened accidentally.  We might get to a point where the pain has ceased, but we must realize there is still damage beneath the scar.  The funny thing about emotional healing is that when the pain is gone, some of us rush right back into the exact types of situations that caused the wound in the first place.  Not only does it set us up for repeat injury, but the wound then becomes compounded… causing far more damage and pain than before… and nearly doubling the recovery time.

After my divorce, the best thing that could have happened (and did) was to have people around me who would be firm and let me know that although the pain has eased up, I still had some healing to do.  It may take some time before I was at full emotional health.  Even though the desire to jump right back into matters of the heart can be compelling.  It can cause you to make bad judgments, and like any wound left untreated it will become infected and cause damage to other vital parts of your life.  I thank God for my family and friends (virtual included) who had my best interest at heart.  For that, I love you all.

But I must say that I am most thankful for my best friend, who also happens to be my wife. It is through her friendship and love that many of my deepest emotional wounds, especially those I initially kept hidden or refused to even acknowledge, were healed once and for all. ❤

Categories: personal, relationships | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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