Posts Tagged With: attractive

Life As A Decoration


I recently attended an informative and deeply inspiring (read: long) industry conference in Anaheim with my wife. It was held in one of the second-floor ballrooms at the Anaheim Hilton, a hop, skip, and a jump from Disneyland’s front door. There was Magic Kingdom spill over into all of the surrounding stores and buildings that made the whole place feel like an extension of Main Street USA. It’s one of those places where everything feels like a souvenir. 🙂

Anyway, after snaking our way into the parking structure (a process that added at least a good 20 minutes to our overall travel time), we found a parking space and headed toward the venue. We arrived late (because of the crazy parking) and managed to grab a seat in the 5th row from the back. It was a great turn out. All together there were about 350 attendees, with a majority coming from various parts in and around L.A. County, along with a good contingent from Las Vegas I believe, and then a smattering from locations other than the West Coast.

Throughout the program, which lasted from about 8am to 4pm (or as the homeschoolers might call it, first subject to second snack), there were multiple speakers who took to the stage to regale us with their personal stories of triumph over circumstance, the virtues of perseverance, and general advice and suggestions on how to obtain success. All while juggling chainsaws and baking cookies. (Ha! Not really, but it feels like that sometimes.)

In usual fashion, each speaker was given a brief introduction to the audience so that we would have a better understanding of who they were, and would appreciate the experience or level of expertise from which they would be speaking. But in all of what has become very typical of these types of events, there was something that REALLY stood out to me… glaring gender disparity.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not the guy that goes looking for “issues” to champion, or conjures up faux social injustices to expose. But this just sort of nagged at me throughout the day. The part that really puzzled me wasn’t the fact that the disparity was so obvious (at least to me), but that so many people seemed to be completely oblivious to it, or at least indifferent toward it.

Let me explain…

One introduction went something like this, “Mr. such and such is an amazing individual who did X, Y and Z! In addition to being wildly successful, he’s also friendly, humble, and a real go-getter! He lives in a beautiful house in such and such city, has X amount of children, AND AN ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL WIFE. I MEAN, SHE IS DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!

To be fair, in and of itself, there was nothing wrong with that statement. This person was simply offering a compliment to the speaker’s spouse. But there are two very important implications that lie underneath that benign statement…

1) that there was some apparent correlation between the beauty of the speaker’s wife and his success, and,
2) that what was most important to disclose about his wife was how attractive she was.

And these become the ongoing subliminal messages we transmit…

Men, become someone so accomplished that you can snag a drop-dead gorgeous wife.
And women, the most important thing about you, 
and the only thing that anybody really cares about, is how you look.

Now, I must state that there were also several speakers who were female. But not one of their introductions included references to the attractiveness of their husbands. No one mentioned how “stunningly handsome” or “captivatingly good-looking” the men were. It was usually a reference to what he did, such as, “…and her husband is an engineer,” or “…he comes from a military background.”

In an age where being arm candy could easily be the extent of someone’s aspirations, it doesn’t surprise me that no one noticed this pattern of referring primarily to a woman’s appearance, and by contrast, mostly referring to a man’s accomplishments. It seems to happen all the time.

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Illustration by: Zohar Lazar (as it appeared in a Hollywood Reporter article dated June 19, 2015)

Next time you’re out with someone, pay attention to how other people refer to the men and women they know, or how they are introduced. There’s a good chance it’ll fall along the lines of “she’s pretty” and “he’s successful”.

I have one daughter. And it saddens me that she’s growing up in a world that constantly reinforces the idea of beauty over brains. Especially when to me, it is a person’s intelligence that really makes them attractive. So I plan to do everything I can to make sure my daughter understands that being smart isn’t a liability, and that her purpose in life is infinitely bigger than simply being a decoration.

I’m curious what other people think about this.

Do you believe gender disparity exists? And if so, what can we do to eliminate this type of default thinking?

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Categories: commentary, opinion | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

5 Things That Should Be Said (But Often Aren’t)


1) Whenever I come across blogs posts that I don’t understand or agree with, I do what I believe all people should do!

NOTHING.

I go on with my life.

I like chocolate.

2) If you have a problem with someone on the internet, take matters into your own hands…
read a book.

3) Being attractive doesn’t buy you a pass to be an @$$hole.

4) Never underestimate the power of the OFF button. Use it with wild abandon.

5) I honest to goodness don’t care about you having your virtual toes stepped on. Move on.

Categories: commentary, opinion, personal | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Sex, Cancer and Immortality


You may wonder what the title of this post is about. How do these three things relate? It’s quite simple and I will explain. But first, let me start by saying that I find my wife to be quite attractive. No, what I mean to say is that she is smokin’ hot! shy

Sorry. Got a little carried away.

Anyway, after the birth of fifth child (who is now 10 months old), we decided to check on different types of birth control including a vasectomy. However, after careful research, I found out that there is a chance of increased risk of prostate cancer  in men who’ve had vasectomies. So yeah, decided not to go that route. :-/

However, my wife was telling me the other night about an interview she watched where a woman was talking about the importance of intimacy within marriage and how she (the woman being interviewed) decided that she would purpose to have sex with her husband every day. As of the taping of the interview, the couple had daily sex consistently for more than a year. In addition to living longer, one of the other benefits of having sex more often is… wait for it… reduces risk of Prostate Cancer!

 

So back to relevance of the title… Sex, Cancer and Immortality.

I’m thinking that this is how it’ll all work out..

1. Having a vasectomy –
2. Will result in more sex –
3. Which will actually reduce the increased risk of prostate cancer –
4. And effectively negate its effects
5. And help me live forever.

That’s a pretty solid plan if you ask me.

Categories: intimacy, relationships, sexuality | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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