One Night Stand And Other Childhood Dreams

I admit that as a kid I would often wonder about things I would do once I was “grown up”. I’d see my parents and other adults have privileges like watching Rated R movies and staying up past 8:00pm. I swore to myself that I would indulge as much as I could the second my age allowed. So I made a list and I’ve checked off almost everything, including…

1) Having one Night Stand

I figured I wouldn’t need more than one until I got married. I mean honestly, what would I do with two Night Stands? One night stand is a lot easier to manage. I see no need to complicate matters. This keeps everything simple and tidy.

2) Getting a Blow Job

This kind of work is honorable and after all the raving I’d heard over getting a good blow job, I wanted my first one to be something I’d always remember. The build up to asking for it was a bit nerve-racking. I mean, blow jobs aren’t just posted in the classified section of your local newspaper. You have to know someone in the business and get a referral if you want a good one. Plus, if everything went well I figured a good blow job might lead to other opportunities in the industry… like trimming hedges.

3) Playing the Field

I’ve always enjoyed better than average strength and athleticism. All the little girls would come out to watch the guys play little league when I was in grade school. Being the catcher, I didn’t see much action. But I loved the attention just being out there would bring. So when I was old enough to actually play the field, I was super excited. I ran home and told my brothers that I was playing the field. They patted me on the back and said, “Don’t let it go to you head little bro. There are plenty of other guys playing the field too.”

Categories: humor, writing | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment

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One thought on “One Night Stand And Other Childhood Dreams

  1. Oh man. This was really well-written, very hooky!

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