My oldest nephew got married the other day. He is a wonderful young man and my wife and I are very close to him.
But we didn’t go to the wedding.
Because when you have a family as large as mine, there are things you come to expect… like not being invited to certain events.
My father came to us beforehand and said something like, “It’s going to be a really small ceremony and they don’t have a lot of money. So don’t be offended by not being invited.”
We weren’t offended.
Because this was a small ceremony, the reception was at my parent’s house. So it wasn’t an RSVP kind of thing where you let them know how many you’re bringing with you. There is almost an expectation that the entire family would come. It almost becomes a small family reunion whenever something goes on at my parent’s house. What we’ve come to understand is that when people invite our family, they’re inviting SEVEN additional people, not just two. And seven mouths can add a considerable expense to a food budget!
So we try our best to let people know that we are neither upset nor insulted when we don’t get invited to a social gathering. It’s a serious commitment having our family posse show up. lol It’s not that we never get invited to events as a couple. But that comes with its own set of logistics… scheduling, food, babysitters, etc.
One of the great things about having a big family is that everything we do together as a family is an event in itself. Heck, getting out of the house at all is a full-on production! lol We take advantage of every opportunity to create lasting memories as a family that at times feels like a party all on its own. Plus, there are times when we’ll invite others to participate in one of our family events. What’s cool about this approach is that they don’t feel obligated to manage our needs like they might if they were hosting. Since we’re hosting, we’re responsible for our crew. These are always fun, rewarding and we still get to hang out with the people we love.
Yeah, I’d never change having a big family. I’m perfectly fine with the occasional social snub. Just send me a postcard when it’s over.