DOVE NOTE #72: A Crying Shame


I was talking to this friend of mine about another gender issue: CRYING. She says it’s good to cry… to let out your emo…blah blah blah. My contention was that no matter what anyone says… what any magazine prints… what any newscast implies… Men Who Cry Are Considered Weak.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that it’s wrong for men to cry. We just do it privately… and for very VERY different reasons. Women can cry for more reasons than there are days of the year… empathy, joy, pain, love, excitement, hatred, anticipation, sex, bitterness, Oprah, and the discontinuation of their favorite brand of panty hose. But (most) men? We only cry publicly for two reasons… we’re dying… or you’re dying. Other than that, we don’t (or won’t rather) cry in front of another person.

The general consensus (I worked for them one summer as an intern at the FEDD Female Emotional Deciphering Department ;-)) is that crying has always been considered a sign of weakness in men… and an expression of, well…  femininity in women. A woman’s tears can influence, calm, incite and confuse… and they’ve proven to be most effective on men. But soon as a tear streaks down a guys face without an amputated limb? (even then, it’s questionable :-P) he’s labeled as a softy.

Granted, some women might like soft men, but I’ve heard the saying “A hard man is good to find” (or maybe that was a sexual reference? *shrug*) Anyway, don’t feel bad if I don’t boohoo with you over the series finale of Desperate Housewives. I’m just a man (and I mean that in a good way, mind you). 😉

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Categories: Dove Note, Series | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “DOVE NOTE #72: A Crying Shame

  1. TheOthers1

    I don’t know though. I’ve known a number of really strong, really manly men and when they’ve cried I (who defies the stereotype and hates to cry) have cried with them. In my mind, I’ve always thought in those moments that if someone so strong can be moved to tears it is a serious matter. I’ve never labeled them as weak either.

  2. nerdyveggiegirl

    I don’t mind when guys cry. Truthfully, I’d be weirded out if my boyfriend cried over things like movies, like I do. I’ve only seen him tear up twice in the past year, once when we almost broke up and once when my daughter first said “I love you”. Both times made me feel closer to him. I never saw it as a “softy” thing.

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