DOVE NOTE #78 – The Heaping


(from the forthcoming book “Dove Notes”)

As a general observation of relationships, many people have a tendency to heap all of their needs and expectations on that one person. The truth is that we need multiple close relationships in order to have all of our needs met.  There well may be plenty of things that you share in common. But there will no doubt be times when you discover interests that find you on completely opposite sides. And that’s okay. This is why I’m so very thankful for my wife’s close friends. I came to realize a long time ago that although I meet many of her needs, her close friends make up the difference. As a matter of fact, there are times when they are able to say things to her in a way that I can not, simply because I’m too close to the situation. Over the years they have proven time and time again to be indispensable partners (or co-conspirators ;-)) when planning something for her birthday or our anniversary. And you know what? It doesn’t diminish my role in her life AT ALL.  I’m still the man. Or more specifically, HER man.  🙂

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Categories: Dove Note, relationships, Series | Tags: , , , , , | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “DOVE NOTE #78 – The Heaping

  1. Thank goodness for those friends and co-conspirators! 😀 Yes, we all need those supporters for ourselves, for our spouses, and even our children. I always see those people like a life raft…they link hands/arms with us to form a raft that supports our loved ones with us. 🙂

    I love reading your words, Riis! Thank you for always sharing your wisdom and experiences, from a heart of love, and with your amazing sense of humor! 🙂

    HUGS, C. 🙂

    • Oh Carolyn, your words have birthed many a smile upon my face! 😀 Thank you for your ongoing encouragement! ❤

  2. you're just a dumbass

    Very insightful! In reality, we should approach relationships from a systems perspective. Systems are interdependant and don’t exist in isolation. We need support systems, networks, friends that know you are about to have a whole gallon of ice cream followed by a whole bottle of wine. Why should one person be the end all be all? Relying on one person can create resentment.

    Great stuff! Love it!

    • Thanks! This post could easily have been three times as long. But I just figured I’d get straight to the point. One of the best things about my wife’s close friends? They sometimes know interesting details about her (likes/dislikes/tastes/preferences) that I don’t. So I get the benefit of that knowledge when seduc… erm, demonstrating my affection. 😉

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