(from the forthcoming book “Dove Notes”)
During the Stone Age, men were often responsible for protecting and defending their families from various dangers, such as wild animals, severe weather and even other people. Most men would sacrifice their lives before letting anything happen to their loved ones. But in today’s society where lions are only seen in zoo cages and severe weather is avoided by simply closing your living room window, some men have forgotten what it means to protect and defend.
Now, I’m not talking about shooting a burglar who tries to climb through your kitchen window, and I’m not referring to intimidating the 8th graders who are bullying your kid at school. Those kinds of things are obvious. What I AM talking about is the type of protection and defense that clearly tells a woman what kind of person you are deep down inside.
Aside from those obvious examples, most women are still looking for real signs that a man will in fact protect and defend them in ways that aren’t necessarily tangible. For example, if you are in a group setting and someone makes an open and degrading joke about her, she needs to know that you won’t laugh along with them, but rather state in no uncertain terms, no matter who it is, that it is NEVER okay to insult or criticize her. You have demonstrated to her that you will defend her honor.
Also, some men feel comfortable joking about a woman’s hair, weight or something she did that may have seemed foolish. But regardless of how harmless you think your comment was, she needs to know that you will never try to get a laugh at her expense. This makes her feel vulnerable and unsafe with the one person whom she trusts will always cover her. She should always feel your unyielding support and encouragement. Or else, your behavior will cause her to withdraw, and will ultimately undermine the very foundation of your relationship.