In one of my profoundly trivial conversations with a co-worker a while back, we came across the subject of deceit. Specifically, we talked about the assumed difference between lying, deceiving and misleading. My co-worker seems to think that there are “levels to lying” and some are worse than others, while others are not “necessarily” bad at all.
For instance, he contends that there’s nothing wrong with leading a person to believe that you’re single when you’re not, in order to “first see where it goes” or “enjoy the admiration“. (his words, not mine) He says that withholding information is not the same as lying. He swears that if they were to come right out and ask him if he was involved with anyone, he would tell them the truth. But it’s not his fault if people want to assume that he’s single. Seems extremely self-absorbed to me. But then again… he is self-absorbed.
I told him that you not only run the risk of hurting someone who may be genuinely interested in you, simply to stroke your own ego, but you’re deceiving yourself by living a lie. It also says a lot about the value he places on committed relationship if he thinks it’s okay to test the waters every now and then. Maybe I’m just old fashioned, but being married (or in a committed relationship) should be information that you’re happy to share, not be ashamed of because it “hurts your game“. Yeah… his words again.