Modern Love

You know, I’ve been cruising the blogosphere for the better part of a decade. And I’ve seen a lot of interesting things and I’ve met a lot of interesting people. In all this time, I’ve seen a common thread among certain types of people when it comes to love. They fall into a few distinct categories:

The Skeptic: Many skeptics see LOVE merely as a theory. They often find no practical applications in the real world. To some of them, love is bitterly fleeting and inevitably temporary. They approach relationships with extreme trepidation. Failure becomes the expectation and they tend to project this onto most of their relationships, which can have the unfortunate effect of acting as a self-fulfilling prophecy. For the skeptic, LOVE at most only exists in books and movies where the outcome is predetermined by the author.

The Dreamer: Dreamers for the most part, have a wholly unrealistic perception of LOVE . They’ve bought into the fantasy that LOVE comes in the form of a knight in shining armor riding on a white horse, or a beautiful virgin damsel in distress hoping for a  handsome hero. The drawback is that dreamers measure every romantic encounter by an unattainable standard that often leaves them disappointed. No one fits the mold they’ve crafted in their mind about the perfect relationship. It’s almost as if they’ve scripted the entire story in their head to the point that even one diversion from the plan disqualifies even the most promising suitor.

The Realist: These people have usually witnessed the best and worst LOVE has to offer. It isn’t always from direct experience, but more often from observing the roller coaster rides of Skeptics and Dreamers. They have no preconceived notions of what a relationship should look like. They’re not swayed by empty declarations or sappy displays of affection. And they don’t confuse lust with LOVE.  Although many Realist would love to experience whimsical romance, they typically are more than willing to put in the work necessary to simply make a relationship successful. This saves them from the disappointment usually experienced by Dreamers and the hardening of the hearts of Skeptics.

Sometimes I wonder how many of us have a realistic outlook on LOVE. I think a lot of people would like to believe that LOVE is just like the movies or in the stories we read where everyone lives happily ever after. After the dissolution of my first marriage, I was a hardcore Skeptic and thought LOVE was a farce. But meeting and marrying Dre has been the next best thing to living the life of a Dreamer.

Do you fit any of these categories?

If not, how would you categorize your outlook on LOVE?

Do you feel as if your perception of LOVE is determined by your life experiences?

Categories: relationships | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “Modern Love

  1. I am a hopeless romantic when it comes to love (always have been). But, after years of living and loving I now fall somewhere between Dreamer and Realist.

    My perception of love used to come from my heart. Then at some point my head got involved…and some days I wish it hadn’t. But it is my head that sometimes keeps my heart from being broken worse.

    I will always believe in love!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂

  2. What interesting questions you pose! I fall between Realist and dreamer. I have been married for almost thirty years to a man who is so different from me. I am a professional storyteller and a writer, he was a math and Asian Studies major, and is now a librarian. Between our right and left-brained selves we now have one good pottle of brains. I have always known that you couldn’t get everything you need from one person, but the person you share your life with has to be the sort that enjoys being a part of your happiness. We share values, and he is the best Daddy ever. I only have to look at our kids to know I made the right choice. I came home with two beautiful bouquets yesterday and told my daughter, “It doesn’t occur to Dad to buy me flowers, but I can buy my own flowers. The dear man does my taxes, and THAT’S true love!”

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