Random Dove Thought: Holding Grudges


We’ve all made mistakes right? You know, things we wish we could take back or at least change in some way? I’ve had my share of both big and small regrets. Situations that I would’ve handled differently… People I wish I could make things right with… In the end, I guess to some degree I’ve expected the one I offended to forgive me, or at the very least, accept my sincere apology. However, there are occasions when, despite my best efforts to reconcile a situation, despite my attempts to restore what may have been lost, all of my gestures are rejected.

It’s during these times that I realize my life can not be tangled up in the emotional instability of others. If I have wronged you, whether or not it was intentional, by accident or indirectly, there is no rule book that says you have to forgive me. We are not obligated to continue as friends. My faux pas may ultimately cause us to sever all ties. But if you insist on holding onto your anger like gripping a coat in high winds, so be it. But I can’t be a party to it.

See, I feel like holding grudges is akin to refusing to treat a severe wound so that it never heals. Leaving it exposed only causes it to hurt more, become infected and pretty soon, what could have been handled with minimal discomfort has now become something excruciating that affects every thing in your life. From your emotional health to your inter-personal relationships. Even down to how you interact with the world around you.

My suggestion… let it go.

I’m certainly not saying it’s an easy thing to do. But if you’re holding a grudge against someone who’s apologized (genuinely) for it, set yourself free from that unnecessary weight! It doesn’t mean you’re all of sudden going to be BFFs. Just know that there is more to life than wasting time storing up your disappointment like weapons. When that happens, everyone ends up injured.

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Categories: relationships | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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