DOVE NOTE #42: Winners And Losers

You know, like most married couples there are times when my wife and I have disagreements. It doesn’t change how we feel about it other, but there are times when I feel like she’s being completely unreasonable about something. And I’m sure she feels the same way about me at times. It’s amazing how quickly the focus can be redirected toward who’s going to win instead of finding a realistic resolution. So during these disagreements, I will often find myself trying to stay calm and avoid prolonging the situation. Like, I’ll think to myself, “Okay, I won’t say yada, yada because I know it’ll make matters worse. But I will definitely bring this up at a different time so that we can further discuss this critical issue. She needs to know how I feel!”

Yeah, in the moment we might think it’s the most important thing in the world. Only to think back on it hours or days later and realize… man, that was so trivial. All of our righteous indignation flies out the window and we’re reminded of how amazing we are together and how blessed we are to be married. Now, this doesn’t mean that we won’t revisit some of these topics at a later date. But the urgency is fleeting and typically fueled by irrational emotions. We don’t have to confront each about things we’ve already apologized for. We realize that in the grand scheme of things… winning or losing doesn’t really matter if you’re both on the same team.

Categories: Dove Note, marriage, relationships, Series | Leave a comment

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