The Seeds of Bad Relationships

I’ve had the privilege of knowing some awesome women who over the years have given me an earful of priceless information from the female perspective.  Some of them are in great relationships, while others are still searching or are enduring bad relationship for the sake of saying they’re in one.

One thing that I find interesting is that in all of these cases, to be loved was of the highest priority.  I don’t mean sexually (it’s sad, but without that disclaimer some people would assume as much).  It seems that from childhood women seek affirmation through expressions of love.  Whether it be gifts, or letters, or time spent together… the underlying desire is to be loved.

Material things aside, many of the women I know said they would be happy knowing that someone thinks they are the most wonderful, most beautiful person in the world.  This loves needs to be demonstrative, without any ulterior motives.  They want to feel needed and special.  They want to be a priority in someone’s life.

Some of the women I know said that their rebellion as teenagers had more to do with their feelings of being unwanted, unaccepted and unattractive more so than just getting into trouble.  I was told that if someone had loved them, the way they needed to be loved… they would be very different people.

I recognize the affects on women who grew up without a father or whose mothers were inattentive.  Some of them have dealt with it, others are still struggling to come to terms with it.  Sadly, it affects their current relationships with both men and women.  Some have confided in me that it seems hard to find a good man because they run at the first indication that any of them possess any characteristics similar to their absentee fathers or estranged mothers.  Friends who exhibit these traits are ceremoniously dismissed as well.

I think both men and women truly want to be loved, though we may act otherwise.  Men are just more prone to hide this fact than women.  I’m rambling… this happens after I’ve had conversations with friends.

Categories: relationships | Tags: , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Post navigation

3 thoughts on “The Seeds of Bad Relationships

  1. Love your insights and honesty!

  2. Pingback: To be loved or to be wanted? « Dove, Thy Neighbor

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: