News From The Edge (of sanity)

I come across the wild and outlandish on a fairly frequent basis. But then there is the occasional news story so amazing that I simply must share it with my friends here. I mean, there’s so much going on in the world today. Somebody’s gotta spread the word. Here are a few highlights…

Katy Perry and gaggle of scantily clad women freed after being blamed for recent California heatwave. Judge rules admission of “skin so hot we’ll melt your popsicles” as insufficient evidence.

Perry thanks fans as she leaves the courthouse in landmark ruling. Judge lifts ice cream truck restraining order.

Tom Cruise reveals recovery from fallout over Oprah appearance as possible plot for Mission Impossible 4, due to hit theaters after talk show host’s retirement.

Oprah's decision to retire rumored to stem from injuries sustained during Tom Cruise appearance.

AdCouncil abruptly drops Charmander Pokemon as mascot for STD prevention campaign. Targeted at youth familiar with the fire lizard, an AdCouncil spokesman stated “these kids are too familiar with the game’s ‘Gotta Catch ’em All’ slogan, which effectively contradicts the message we’re trying to convey.”

AdCouncil admits poor taste of referencing flames or burning in relation to STDs.

In an attempt to attract more viewers to its counter-programming, ABC, CBS and NBC to rename shows to degrade, insult and hopefully compete with main rival American Idol on Fox. Recently renamed shows include: American Idol’s Biggest Loser on ABC, $#!+ My Dad Says About American Idol on CBS, and Law & Order: Idol Criminals on NBC.

In related news, Fox announces Antoine Dodson as new American Idol judge. Dodson had this to say about his new appointment:

"Obviously, I wudn't gone do dis aless they agreed ta lemme sell my doll to errybody out here."

Categories: current events, music, parody | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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